E236: Sex with Other People…Around: Our Holiday Do’s and Don’ts

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 2.6K Ratings

🗓️ 27 November 2025

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It’s the season of gratitude, family time… and figuring out how to have sex quietly. 😅 This Thanksgiving, we’re throwing it back to one of our most iconic early episodes — all about having sex when other people are around. Whether you’re hosting the in-laws, crashing at your parents’ place, or sharing a wall with your roommates, this one’s for you. 💛 In this episode, you’ll hear: Whether it’s actually okay to have sex when you have guests (or you’re the guest). Our best stealth-mode tips for keeping things quiet and respectful. The most common mistakes couples make when trying to sneak one in. How to manage the stress and guilt that come with “guest sex.” Bonus: hilarious, cringe-worthy stories from our Instagram community that prove you are definitely not alone. If you’ve ever had to choose between your sex life and your sanity during the holidays… consider this your survival guide. 🦃 Go deeper💞 Want to know exactly what’s keeping you and your partner stuck (and how to fix it)? Take our free Intimacy Quiz to discover your intimacy type and get a personalized roadmap to better connection, communication, and pleasure inside our membership, Deeper. 👉 Take the quiz now and unlock your results: https://vmtherapy.com/5keys Stay connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Wild Alaskan. Get $35 off your first box of wild-caught, sustainable seafood—delivered right to your door. ➡︎https://www.wildalaskan.com/PILLOW 👏Thanks Nature's Sunshine. Protect your eyes and skin against harmful blue light effects with Marine Glo. Get 20% off your first order and free shipping by using checkout code PILLOW ➡︎https://naturessunshine.com 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Give the gift of comfort that lasts beyond the holidays. “This weekend only! From Thanksgiving Day through Cyber Monday, get 40% off with code PILLOWTALKS. It’s the best deal of the year! ➡︎https://cozyearth.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Is it okay to like fuck at somebody else's house or is that like an impolite thing?
0:04.8	Is this one of, you don't see this in etiquette rules.
0:07.3	Oh, always bring your host a gift and make sure you don't fuck in their house.
0:10.6	Yeah.
0:15.8	Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast. We're your host, Vanessa, and Zander Marin.
0:24.0	I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience. And I'm just a regular dude. We share the ups
0:29.4	and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours.
0:34.3	Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips,
0:38.9	practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind
0:44.3	closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you'd had. Happy Thanksgiving
0:52.6	everybody. We're feeling extra grateful today and maybe even a little nostalgic because we're going way back, way back into the Pillow Talks archives.
1:01.6	All the way back to episode 30 from 2021.
1:06.0	Wow.
1:06.9	Where we talked about having sex when other people are around. This one's holiday themed, but
1:12.6	honestly, it's a must listen if you are a parent for anyone who lives with their in-laws or with
1:17.3	their own parents or anyone sharing space with roommates. Having sex when there are guests in your
1:22.0	house or when you're the guest can be super stressful. Like you want to be respectful, but also sometimes you just want to get it in, right?
1:30.6	So in this episode, we're going to break down how to discreetly and politely get down wherever you're spending
1:36.3	the holidays. You'll learn whether it's actually okay to have sex when guests are around, our best
1:41.0	tips for pulling it off quietly, and the most common mistakes to avoid.
1:45.2	Plus, you do not want to miss some of the sex gone wrong stories that we pulled from Instagram.
1:51.1	So grab a cozy blanket, maybe put in those earbuds if you're around family already, and
	...

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