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Pillow Talks

E231: When Life Gets Heavy (A Personal Update)

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.82.6K Ratings

🗓️ 23 October 2025

⏱️ 75 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We’ve always promised to keep things real with you — the good, the messy, and everything in between. And lately… life has been life-ing. In this episode, we’re opening up about what’s been going on behind the scenes — especially with Vanessa’s dad’s health — and how we’ve been navigating this season both personally and as a couple. We’ll talk about what’s next for our family, the emotional rollercoaster of managing grief while still finding moments of joy, and what it looks like to prioritize self-care, connection, and even intimacy when life feels really heavy. 💛 In this episode, you’ll hear: An honest update on Vanessa’s dad’s health and how our family is handling it The self-care practices helping me stay grounded (and sometimes just get through the day) What’s been helping us stay connected as a couple during stressful times The reality of sex and intimacy when you’re grieving or emotionally exhausted Why joy still matters, even when things are hard If you’re in a tough season too, this one’s for you. You’re not alone. 💛 🔥 Ready to feel more connected, supported, and understood in your relationship? Inside Deeper, our membership for couples, we help you keep growing together — even when life gets complicated. You’ll get access to expert-led guides, monthly live calls, and our favorite prompts and challenges to help you communicate, connect, and feel close again. 👉 Join Deeper today and start building the kind of relationship that can handle anything. https://vmtherapy.com/deeper 🎧 Stay connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly emails with behind-the-scenes stories, tips, and a few good laughs → http://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Never miss an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods. ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Blissy. Get better sleep, hair and skin with Blissy and use PILLOWPOD to get an additional 30% off. ➡︎https://blissy.com/pillowpod 👏Thanks Remi. Use code PILLOW  at checkout for 50% off. ➡︎https://shopremi.com/PILLOW 👏Thanks ZocDoc. Stop putting off those doctors appointments and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. ➡︎https://Zocdoc.com/PILLOW 👏Thanks SKIMS. Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. ➡︎https://www.skims.com/pillow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

I also want to say, like, you have really, like,

0:09.0

the way that I've seen you, like,

0:12.0

taking care of my dad and my mom,

0:15.0

it's just been really, really beautiful to watch.

0:18.0

Yeah, I love them so much. I know you do.

0:25.6

Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast. We're your host, Vanessa, and Zander Marin.

0:34.2

I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience. And I'm just a regular dude.

0:38.8

We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving

0:43.6

yours. Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips,

0:49.2

practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors

0:55.6

and so much more.

0:57.3

It's the sex education you wish you'd had.

1:02.1

Okay.

1:03.9

I'm a little nervous recording this episode.

1:08.7

Tell me more.

1:09.4

I kind of don't really want to, to be totally

1:11.6

honest with you. You got a case of the fuggets? Oh, so we're doing, we're doing a personal

1:19.0

update in this week's episode. We've only done a couple of these really like like, over the years, but life has really been

1:29.3

life in lately.

1:31.3

And we've been sharing about it on Instagram.

1:33.3

If you're not following us, we're at Vanessa and Xander.

1:36.3

We've been sharing a bit.

...

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