meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Pillow Talks

E225: The Truth About Sex and Aging: Menopause, Erectile Dysfunction, and Libido

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.82.6K Ratings

🗓️ 11 September 2025

⏱️ 61 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Aging is inevitable. But letting your sex life fade away? Nope. This week, we’re tackling one of our most requested topics ever: sex and aging. We’re answering your biggest questions about how intimacy shifts as the years go by: from libido changes, to navigating menopause, to keeping things hot. 💛 In this episode, we cover: How old is too old to have sex (spoiler: never) What to do if your libido and your partner’s don’t line up anymore Navigating perimenopause and helping your partner understand it’s not about them Feeling sexy in a body that doesn’t look like it did at 20 How to manage vaginal dryness, erectile changes, and shifting anatomy Creative ways to keep intimacy exciting even when it feels like you’ve “done it all” And you’ll also hear sweet (and funny) messages from listeners who say that sex in midlife and beyond is actually the best sex they’ve ever had. You’ll also hear some of our favorite messages from listeners in their 40s, 50s, 60s (and beyond!) about why sex actually gets freer, hotter, and more confident with age. Because here’s the thing: aging is inevitable. But a boring sex life? That’s optional. ✨ Ready to spice things up at any age? Our Ultimate Sex Guide is your roadmap to better intimacy. Inside, you’ll find: 42 step-by-step positions with illustrations, tips, and playful modifications A workbook + printable cards to track your favorites (and keep things exciting) Expert tips and troubleshooting for when sex doesn’t go as planned An audio version so you can get quick, shame-free guidance anytime Whether you’re looking for fresh inspiration or new ways to connect, The Ultimate Sex Guide will help you discover just how good sex can get! Check it out here 👉🏻 https://vmtherapy.com/ultimate Links & Resources  Get our sex positions playbook here 👉🏻 https://vmtherapy.com/ultimate E215  Mismatched Sex Drive Types: The #1 Reason Couples Struggle With Desire 👉🏻 https://vmtherapy.com/episode215 E121 When She Wants It More: Navigating Mismatched Libidos When The Woman Has A Higher Drive 👉🏻 https://vmtherapy.com/episode121 🎧 Stay connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram ➡️ instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns. Sign up here 👉🏻 vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Never miss an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods! Timestamps  00:00 – Intro 03:38 – How old is too old to have sex? 11:12 – How does libido change with age? 16:22 – When does a drop in libido become a health concern? 19:18 – Navigating perimenopause with your partner 33:31 – Body image and aging 39:34 – Best sex positions for older couples 44:34 – Vaginal dryness and aging 46:18 – Does your labia shrink or change with age? 49:52 – How to keep your sex life exciting as you get older 54:03 – Trouble staying hard as you age ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Hungryroot. Use code pillow to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life➡︎https://Hungryroot.com/pillow 👏Thanks Chewy. Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. You can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping!➡︎https://chewpanions.chewy.com/@vanessandxander 👏Thanks Cure. Use code PILLOW for 20% off your first order! ➡︎https://curehydration.com/pillow 👏Thanks MasterClass. Get an additional 15% off any annual membership ➡︎https://masterclass.com/pillow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

My husband's drive has gone down, but mine has gone up.

0:02.6

Is that normal?

0:03.6

How much of a drop in libido is normal before it is a health concern?

0:07.4

Alright, our next one is how to feel sexy even though my partner and I don't look like our 20-year-old selves anymore?

0:13.0

How do I navigate perimenopause?

0:15.0

Okay, how to keep our sex life exciting as we get older?

0:18.0

It feels like we've already tried everything. Really? How do you know?

0:26.9

Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast. We're your host, Vanessa, and Zander Marin.

0:35.0

I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience.

0:38.2

And I'm just a regular dude.

0:39.8

We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques

0:43.8

for improving yours.

0:45.5

Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical

0:50.4

relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind

0:55.4

closed bedroom doors and so much more.

0:58.1

It's the sex education you wish you'd had.

1:02.6

Today we're diving into a topic that we have increasingly been getting more and more and

1:09.8

more questions about. And I will say like more

1:12.8

insistent questions about like I need you to cover this topic. Now. And that is sex and aging.

1:20.2

Is it because people think we're aging? And they're like, you're getting old and start talking

1:23.4

about this now. I don't know. They want us to get ahead of things.

1:29.8

Yeah, we get so many questions.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Vanessa & Xander Marin, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Vanessa & Xander Marin and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.