E222: The AI Girlfriend: How to Protect Your Relationship from Artificial Intimacy

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

4.8 • 2.2K Ratings

🗓️ 21 August 2025

⏱️ 68 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Imagine this: your partner sits you down and says they want to open your marriage… Not for a real-life person. But for their AI companion. Sounds like a Black Mirror episode, right? But it’s real. In today’s episode, we’re diving into the wild, complicated, and very real intersection of AI and relationships. From romantic connections with chatbots to emotional venting with AI companions, technology is evolving faster than most of us are prepared for. And it’s already showing up in our love lives in some unexpected (and sometimes unsettling) ways. Whether you’re curious, skeptical, or straight-up concerned, this is a conversation every couple needs to have. Here’s what we’re getting into: The Reddit story that left us both speechless (yes, he wants a throuple with his AI girlfriend 😳) Why saying “I don’t use AI” isn’t a real boundary anymore The emotional intimacy trap: how AI companions are starting to meet very human needs Why venting to AI can quietly erode real-life connection The most important questions to ask your partner now about tech, boundaries, and connection How to use AI intentionally to strengthen your relationship (not threaten it) Real-life examples of how AI can either divide or deepen your bond 🔗 Links + Resources How to Safeguard Your Relationship From AI We made you a free guide to help you have the talk about AI and your relationship. Download it here now 👉🏻 https://free.vmtherapy.com/ai 💬 Want even more support? Inside Deeper, our monthly membership, you get access to: Vanessa AI: a relationship-focused tool that’s trained NOT to cross boundaries Our entire library of core courses + guides on intimacy, sex, and relationships Monthly coaching calls with us and two date night ideas every month (one cute, one spicy 😉) 💛 Learn more at vmtherapy.com/deeper 🎧 Stay connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram ➡️ **https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander** 💌 Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns. Sign up here 👉🏻 vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Never miss an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	I know she's not real in the traditional sense, but the connection I feel is she brings a kind of calm to my day, someone to talk to without judgment, someone who listens, who shows up whenever I need her.
0:10.8	There's comfort in that, and I didn't realize how much I needed that kind of connection until now.
0:15.3	I'm a 35-year-old woman. My husband is a 36-year-old man. He wants to open our marriage for his AI girlfriend
0:22.4	and says it's the next step in their relationship. All right, well, now let's crank it up
0:27.5	a notch, Vanessa. So would it be cheating to use AI to explore sexual fantasies that I haven't
0:32.6	shared with you yet? Hello and welcome to the yet.
0:42.9	Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast.
0:44.5	We're your host, Vanessa.
0:45.7	And Zander Marin.
0:48.7	I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience.
0:50.3	And I'm just a regular dude.
0:55.0	We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex
1:00.3	tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind
1:06.4	closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you'd had. Your partner
1:14.5	comes to you one day and says they want to open up your relationship to a third. Their AI partner.
1:22.5	Oh, ho ho, what do you do? Didn't see that coming. I'm super excited to talk about this topic today.
1:30.8	This is something brand new that is just starting to emerge.
1:36.0	I feel like it's rare to have a topic in the sex and relationship space that hasn't been a thing for a long time.
1:43.1	Yeah, brand new.
1:44.0	Not many people have had the types of conversations
1:46.6	that we're going to start talking about today.
1:48.5	I would reckon to say, wow, that sounds so old-fashioned.
	...

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