E2 #84 - Jedi's: Campaign for the Galactic Senate [Patreon Preview]

Episode One

Comedy

4.8 • 858 Ratings

🗓️ 7 April 2025

⏱️ 2 minutes

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Summary

Today in a galaxy far far away, Emperor Palpatine has proposed an excise tax on the manufacture of cell phones sold at Cricket Wireless authorized retailers. In order to combat this attack on the galaxy’s small business owners, Jedi's Darth Hundo (Charles), Tannin Sperm (Branson), and Dape Dode (Andrew) travel to the backwater planet of Terre’Hautooine to meet with voters at the popular chain restaurant Naboo Wild Wings. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/e2-84-jedis-for-126150045

Transcript

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0:00.0	Yoda was smart because he lived on that swamp where he just dumped all the bodies.
0:04.0	And no one's ever going to look at him.
0:07.0	Yodo was killing so many people in that swamp.
0:09.8	Every real Jedi master lives next to a swamp because it's the easiest way to get rid of all of the dead bodies.
0:15.9	The secrets of the Jedi here, folks. Take notes.
0:18.4	I mean, we all have access to the Jedi archives, and it does, we have access to Yoda's private journal.
0:26.8	And Yaddle, too. Don't forget about Yaddle. She's a female Yodel.
0:30.0	Oh, yeah. Well, the Yoda's private journal is like, fucked Yaddle again today.
0:36.5	Fucked Yaddle dog style and busted on her face
0:40.0	Yoda
0:40.6	and it's like damn
0:43.4	dude he's like
0:44.3	he's not even talking he's not even
0:46.3	mentioning the people he's killing
0:48.3	and putting in the swamp
0:49.4	well yeah he's basically about
0:51.6	fucking yaddle and busting on Yaddle's face.
0:54.6	I guess that's what he likes.
0:55.8	I don't know.
0:56.4	I'm a baby.
0:57.1	I have no sex drive.
0:58.5	Yoda is one crazy Yoda.
	...

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