So I was wandering around in the woods outside of Tara Hot as I am want to do.

Right.

And I saw a guy walking around there just kicking rocks.

He was kind of like shuffling around, kicking the dirt, you know, like looking at his feet hanging out by himself.

Was it Charlie Brown?

No, no, no, not even close, actually.

Because Charlie Brown, he's basically bald, right? This guy had long, full head of hair. And I went up to him like, what's got you so down? What's going on here? And he's like, well, my name is Jesus Christ, you know, from the Bible. And I was like, holy moly, you haven't been around in a long time. And he was like, yeah, I'm

pretending to be dead to make everybody miss me more. And I was like, well, did you run away from

home or something? Like, do you know where your daddy is? And he's like, yeah, he's in like,

stupid heaven. I don't even care. And I was like, well, I bet there's a lot of people who'd be happy to see you

if they knew you were out here. And he just kept telling me, no, I'm Jesus and I'm waiting for

the right time to come back. And I was like, I didn't believe him. So I opened up my good book.

And sure enough, there he is. The first picture in the Bible is him, spitting image. So I don't what to do about this.

I'm sitting on a gold mine here.

Moping around and saying he was Jesus.

That was it.

He showed me his hands.

He had like the scars and stuff too.

He had a stigmata.

Was it like actively bleeding?

Was it?

Well, no, because it was from 2,000 years ago.

...