among, you know, my fans, because this is book 74 of the properly preposterous misadventures of

Timothy Thompson, Worthington Shire, the teenage years. This is the first book of the teenage years.

Puberty, really heavy stuff. It's hard to deal with. It starts when he's 16. When he was 15,

that was still before the teenage years,

because I didn't think of the idea of calling it that yet. But this is chapter one from book 74.

I'll just get right into it. Even though Timothy Thompson-Worthington Shire was a relatively

well-known wizard in Terre Haute, Indiana, having won the greased pig contest

three years in a row and gaining some measure of renown among the local humans, he was still

forced to live in a suitcase by his mean uncle. Man, I'm so sick of living in this damn suitcase,

said the 16-year-old Timothy.

Good thing I have my driver's license and some wheels now.

I want to go for a ride.

He called up his school chums, the red-haired teen geyser ham swallow,

and the teen girl Serena Smoke Show Thimbleworth.

Then they got into his car and started driving around listening to

Bad to the Bone by whoever that made that song. Ha ha, feels good to be a teen, said Geiser.

That's right, said Serena. Humans can't understand what it's like for us wizards, and parents can't

understand us teens, but we can still cruise around and get wild. Hey, speaking of, said Timothy

Thompson-Worthington Shire, pass me one of those wizard beers, even though I am currently

operating a motor vehicle.

Okay, my teenage judgment tells me to just do it, said Geiser, who then did it,

by which I mean he tossed a beer to Timothy.

...