meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Episode One

E2 #106 - Who Wants to Be Food 2: The I Don’t Want to Be Food Anymore Group Home Sessions [Patreon Preview]

Episode One

Episode One

Comedy

4.8858 Ratings

🗓️ 5 January 2026

⏱️ 4 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Social worker N. Edible (Charles) helps Cheeseburger (Andrew), I.B. Goodfood (Branson), and Will B. Dinner (Tom) come to terms with the fact that they are not food. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/e2-106-who-wants-147476855

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

All right. Okay. I'm trying to get better. I consider myself the real winner for surviving. That's what we tell her. So I survive. Yep. That's what we all say here. I survived Kiki Champagne. I survived my wife. And sure, you had to be eaten. And Justin Tiberlake had to be eaten, but I am still here. Look, if we're being honest, we're all going to end up as worm food someday when we're old and dead, but it's better that than to end up as human food. Wow. Yeah, I guess I never really thought of it that way. Art, any of the worms, beautiful women? I probably shouldn't be saying that. It depends on your idea of beauty, I think. But it's kind of in the eye of the beholder. Luckily, you won't have any eyes by the time that the worms are eating all the meat off your skeletons. So maybe you can convince yourself that they're beautiful. In a way, the cycle of life is beautiful, is it not? Maybe we could personify the cycle of life to be some sort of... star, you know, maybe, yeah, exactly.

0:57.5

Now, I hear Taylor Swift has been driving

0:59.7

right. That would be a very impressive woman.

1:03.0

Taylor Swift has learned what this facility is

1:06.0

and who it's for, and she has been known to drive around here

1:09.0

taunting us. Another reason we got to keep these windows closed.

1:12.3

I don't know who opened one today, but I think she's doing on,

1:15.7

I want to,

1:15.8

I want to apologize for kind of just locking up there.

1:21.1

I appreciate you guys and you're opening up and telling me your stories is really

1:24.5

inspiring.

1:25.4

And, yeah, I know, it's like my first day. And I, it's really difficult, but I'm not food. I'm a person. And that's right. I think, I think I'm going to get through this. Mm-hmm. There's a car honking a lot outside. I mean, I know we usually don't stop that. But I don't know. What are you doing here? What's that song? She always listens to her own music. So. Daylor. It's Taylor. That can't be hurt. You guys are messing around. Is that? No. We need another staff for to get out there. Let's someone go wave a gun at me. That's Taylor Swift. That is Taylor Swift right there. We always keep a shotgun by the door. Where the shotgun goes? No, hold on. Why would we do shoot her? We got to see what she wants. Maybe she's lost. We'll meet the impersonator. Revenator She'll be outside

2:18.3

She knows where the facility

2:20.2

She's been to warn

2:21.0

She's been to numerous times

2:22.0

She

2:23.2

She walked inside

2:25.2

She's walking aside

2:25.8

She's walking aside

2:25.9

Where'd that gun go

2:27.6

I'm gonna

2:28.8

I'm gonna lock the deadbolt

...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in 26 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Episode One, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Episode One and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.