Dr Vanessa Lapointe: anxiety + how you were parented

Owning It: The Anxiety Podcast

Caroline Foran

Overwhelm, Education, Health & Fitness, Panic Attack, Caroline Foran, Stress, Anxiety

4.4 • 654 Ratings

🗓️ 24 February 2025

⏱️ 50 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

For this episode I am joined by Dr Vanessa LaPointe who is an incredibly successful and widely celebrated psychologist specialising in parenting. We talk about behaviourist parenting - the way most of us were likely parented - and the impact that would have on us when it comes to anxiety later on. We focus heavily on the experience of parenting a highly anxious child (which is my personal experience at the moment) and look at precisely what three steps to take to move a child out of an acute anxiety phase as well as what to say to an anxious kid. Whether you're a parent of an anxious kid or were an anxious kid yourself, this will be a must listen. You can support this podcast by sharing it with a friend or signing up to my Substack. Read my personal essays on Substack here with a 20% (lifetime) listener discount.

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Own your anxiety as and when it happens with Owning It: Real Time. The situation specific series of audio guides that helps you move through your most anxious moments. Available now on Acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/owningittheanxietypodcast.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Thank you for listening to Owning It. If you would like to support the series, the best thing you can do is just tell a friend or better yet share it on social media. If you really, really want to support, you can subscribe to me on Substack where I write a weekly column. Listeners of the pod get a 20% discount forever at carolineforin.com. Thank you.
0:20.1	Hello, dear listener and welcome back to owning it the anxiety podcast with me, Caroline Foran.substack.com. Thank you. Hello, dear listener and welcome back to Oni at the anxiety podcast
0:23.0	with me, Caroline Forin. My guest this week is Dr. Vanessa LaPointe. She's huge on social media,
0:28.9	an excellent psychologist and best-selling author who's become known for her brilliant rhetoric around
0:33.2	the child brain, and for me the interest was in how her approach was necessary for a child with a
0:37.7	very anxious disposition. In this episode, we chat about precisely how to approach a child with
0:42.6	severe anxiety, the language we use and the practical steps that we can take to help them, as well as
0:47.2	the ways in which we might have been parented and the preference older generations would have
0:50.8	had without knowing any better for behaviourist parenting, as well as the
0:54.7	impact that that might have had on us now as more anxious adults. Vanessa is just brilliant. And if
1:00.8	you're a parent to an anxious kid like me or you are an anxious kid yourself, also like me,
1:05.7	this will be an extremely helpful but also a validating episode. Thanks so much for listening.
1:12.8	Dr Vanessa LaPoint,
1:18.3	it's such an honor for me to have you all the way from Vancouver on owning it the anxiety podcast.
1:25.6	Awesome. I'm thrilled to be here. Thank you. To start, how much of an impact do you think that the way we are parented has on our tendency, either
1:29.0	as children as grown-ups, to be feeling more anxiety?
1:32.0	Yeah, you know, the environment, as Stan Siegel says, the environment creates the mind,
1:39.3	and then the mind creates the environment.
1:42.2	And so there is, for sure, going to be an interplay between nature and nurture on this one,
1:48.0	where we can't say that it all comes from how you're parented,
1:51.7	or it all comes from whatever your genes are and how they're expressed.
1:55.9	But we do know that attachment styles, the way that children experience the parent-child relationship,
	...

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