Hello everyone!

I have polished off my prescription spectacles, refilled my colonnipin, put my hair into a tight

bun and am currently wearing a very medically chic pantsuit.

Dr. Shimmel is in the fucking building with my medical pad that I jacked from my psychiatrist.

I am taking calls, diagnosing your issues and providing you the solutions to live as your best

or possibly worst bitchy self.

Let's do this!

Dr. Shimmel Part Twa, hashtag by Lingual.

Hey Jackie!

Hey how are you?

Thank you for calling your their first caller!

So my question is, I'll have to be a little bit of background.

I'm 26, I have a 5 year old, but I hate dating guys who have kids and my friends think it makes

me a total bitch, but I'm like I don't have any baby daddy drama, we don't live in the

same state, but I hate other people's kids.

I can totally relate to you because I can imagine, like I feel that way about my dog, I don't

have a kid yet, but I hate everybody's dog except for my own because I just think he's

so significantly better and cuter and just all around a better dog.

Anyways, I don't think that makes you a hypocrite, I think that makes you honest.

I see like, under guy like let's get our kids together and like all the like, your kids

are annoying, like I'm gonna have to talk to their mom, people are gonna ask their

mind and like mildly upset with my kids, but it's like where do like, because it's like

...