Dr. Sarah Schewitz: How Your Childhood Wounds Are Affecting Your Relationships

Mayim Bialik's Breakdown

Mayim Bialik

Mental Health, Society & Culture, Wellness, Health & Fitness, Comedy, Thebigbangtheory, Spirituality, Selfimprovement, Mentalhealth

4.7 • 5.2K Ratings

🗓️ 4 April 2023

⏱️ 105 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Mayim and Jonathan do therapy with Dr. Sarah Schewitz, licensed psychologist specializing in love & relationships! Dr. Schewitz leads a real time Imago workshop with Mayim and Jonathan to illustrate the benefits of Imago dialogue. She helps them get to the root of their podcast disagreements, from interrupting and correcting each other to cracking jokes at inappropriate moments, learning why they react the way they do. Dr. Schewitz also helps us break down healing attachment trauma, the impact of childhood wounds on relationships, and practical ways to transform communication methods. She explains why couples therapy can put an abused partner at risk and the benefits of individual therapy alongside couples therapy. Dr. Schewitz also gives us her top signs of a healthy relationship and practical tips for getting over a breakup.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Criticism, defensiveness, storm walling, and content.
0:07.9	And these four things, if they're constantly coming up in the couple session, it either
0:12.6	means that therapists isn't setting enough boundaries in taking control of the session,
0:16.0	which can definitely happen.
0:19.2	Or it means the couple just literally cannot regulate themselves no matter what the therapist
0:23.8	does to provide structure.
0:26.0	So criticism is using words like always or never, or making blanket statements about your
0:32.5	partner's personality.
0:33.5	Like you always do this, you never do that, you're so lazy.
0:39.3	Instead you want to use a softened startup and just kind of focus on the behavior at hand
0:43.2	and not over-generalize into the person's personality.
0:47.3	And then defensiveness is basically just throwing up a roadblock.
0:51.1	You're either not taking responsibility or saying that's not true, I didn't do that,
0:57.7	or you're counter-attacking by saying, fine, I did that, but you did it last week.
1:01.7	So who are you to say?
1:03.0	Okay, so that was criticism, defensiveness.
1:06.6	And the antidote to defensiveness is seeking responsibility.
1:10.0	And there's literally always something you can take responsibility for.
1:13.8	Even if it's, I'm sorry, I hurt your feelings.
1:16.9	And don't get into butt or explaining your perspective.
1:21.2	I'm sorry, I hurt your feelings or I'm sorry you felt that way.
1:24.5	No, I'm sorry.
	...

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