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ManTalks Podcast

Dr. Laurie Watson - How To Build Secure Sexual Attachment

ManTalks Podcast

Connor Beaton

Relationships, Education, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.8591 Ratings

🗓️ 20 May 2024

⏱️ 57 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Talking points: relationships, sex Thrilled to have Dr. Laurie return! This time, we go deep on sexual attachment. How it shows up, how it's a little different than the attachment styles you might know of, and what might be blocking it in your relationship. There is TONS of good info and insight here, team, so listen closely. (00:00:00) - What is the “sexual attachment cycle”? (00:05:59) - Where does the push-pull dynamic start, and how cues to sex slow down in some relationships (00:14:37) - What secure sexuality looks like on relationship (00:21:19) - Why men come out of a hookup generally more satisfied than women (00:27:29) - How do you end the push-pull dynamic and create secure sexual attachment? (00:34:19) - Navigating intimate conversations, and don’t be fooled by social narratives (00:43:21) - What creates a sexless relationship, and how to move forward (00:51:13) - Rebooting sex after a sexless relationship: the blocks Laurie Watson, Ph.D., MA, LMFT, LCMHC, Director of Awakenings, certified sex therapist, certified EFT therapist, certified addictions specialist from IICS, has thirty years of experience working with couples and individuals about love and sex. Laurie says, “I’ve never seen a couple who I didn’t feel hope for about their healing and happiness.” Laurie is the host of the popular podcast, FOREPLAY RADIO, ranked in the top 10 on iTunes under Sexuality. Laurie authored her first book Wanting Sex Again—How to Rediscover Desire and Heal a Sexless Marriage in December 2012.  She’s a popular blogger, with over 15 million reads between her WebMD blog and Psychology Today Online. Laurie also lectures physician residents, PAs, and PTs at Duke’s and UNC Chapel Hill’s medical schools on sexual function and dysfunction.  She has been published or quoted in almost every nationally popular media resource including the New York Times, Buzzfeed, HuffPo, WebMD, Glamour, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan, etc. A popular media figure, she has appeared on the Katie Couric Show and Vogue Weddings and is regularly on radio and television in Raleigh and Greensboro. Director/owner of Awakenings, Counseling for Couples and Sexuality, Laurie supervises 11 clinicians in both Raleigh and Greensboro.  Connect with Laurie -Website: https://lauriewatson.com/ -Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LaurieWatson.CouplesTherapy/ -Podcast: Foreplay Radio: https://www.foreplayrst.com/ *** Men, the next Men's Weekend is VERY soon. Join us in California for a transformative journey of reclamation. Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

All right, Dr. Lori Watson, welcome to The Man Talk Show. How are you doing today?

0:10.9

Oh, great. Thank you for having me to The Man Talk Show.

0:14.8

Right. I know. Here we go. We're going to talk about a whole bunch of stuff that's going to be interesting.

0:19.1

Actually, before we dive in, I should have asked you this before. Do you prefer Dr. Watson? Do you prefer Lori? What should I address? Oh, you can call me Lori. Okay, okay. Because I've had people on the show that it's like, it's doctor. And I'm like, okay. I don't want to mess that up. I make my staff call me doctor, been on podcast, I'm worried. Yeah, and husband once in a while, right? It's like, it's doctor.

0:38.2

And my husband, I tell him to call me doctor too.

0:41.3

Let's blow. call me doctor, but on podcast, I'm worried. Yeah, and husband once in a while, right?

0:37.6

And my husband, I tell him to call me doctor too.

0:41.3

Let's play doctor.

0:42.7

Yeah, there you go.

0:43.3

There you go.

0:44.1

So let's begin with the big question, which is what is the sexual attachment cycle?

0:49.9

Okay.

0:50.8

So in committed relationship, there's actually two cycles. One of them is the emotional

0:57.1

attachment cycle and the other is the sexual attachment cycle because when we partner with somebody,

1:02.1

it's body and soul. You know, we have a connection with them deeply in our hearts and we have a

1:08.1

connection with them deeply in our bodies. And the weird thing that gets twisted up

1:13.2

for all of us, every single one of us, is that there's often a cycle that is one person who

1:20.4

kind of wants more of something and the other person weirdly seems to want less of it. It's not

1:26.7

actually true because both people need connection

1:28.8

in both cycles. But think about maybe traditionally heterosexual couple. The woman is like, hey,

1:35.8

you know, I want to share feelings. I want to talk to you. I want you to spend more time with me.

1:41.2

I need more support and help. And perhaps the guy early married is like,

...

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