Welcome to Nobody Told Me.

I'm Laura Owens and I'm Jan Black.

If you find it uncomfortable to deal with difficult people and highly emotional problems, stay tuned.

Our guest is distinguished attorney, Doug Noel,

who has a lot to say about how we can improve our skills and handling such situations. Whether you're

faced with an angry boss, colleague, client, or family member, Doug says you can learn the

skills necessary to keep your cool when dealing with someone who's upset and out of control.

Doug is the co-founder of the award-winning Prison of Peace Project, which teaches long-term

inmates in maximum security prisons to be peacemakers and mediators. Doug's latest book is called

De-escalate How to Calm an angry person in 90 seconds or less.

Doug, we thank you so much for joining us and we can really use your advice.

Ladies, I'm glad to be here. Hope I can help.

You were a business and commercial trial lawyer for 22 years before you decided to shift

the focus of your work to problem solving and peacemaking.

Why did you decide to move in that direction?

It was personal growth, I think.

I had achieved a secondary black belt in a northern Chinese kung fu style.

And my teacher at that time said,

you're too arrogant, you're too much of an asshole,

your lawyer, I'm not teaching you anymore

until you master Tai Chi.

So he sent me off to Tai Chi school,

...