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The one secret to dramatically improving your relationships with your children and grandchildren, is to notice what

you like about them much more than what you don't like.

I first met Jesse when she was 14, because she'd run away from home, was cutting herself

and failing in school. Now at 16, she was doing great. Her brain, which was

initially troubled, had dramatically improved with diet and supplements. Her grades were

better and she was much more stable. I was so pleased with her progress until one day she stormed into my office,

sat on my couch, and told me that she hated her mother and was running away from home,

and I couldn't stop her.

In the time I'd been seeing, Jesse, I'd gotten to know her family really well.

It was clear to me that her mother had untreated ADHD, and she tended to pick on Jesse as a way to stimulate her own brain.

Conflict-seeking behavior is very common among people with untreated ADHD. I tried to convince her mother to get help, but she wouldn't have it.

Now she was driving her daughter away.

To raise mentally strong kids, you need to take care of your own brain.

In the middle of Jesse's rant, she turned her anger on me and said,

tell me, Dr. Eamon, why does a grown man collect penguins? In my office at the time, I had

hundreds of penguins, pretty much any type of penguin that you could imagine,

from penguin pens, dolls, puppets, a penguin vacuum, even a penguin weather vane.

I laughed and said, I've been seeing you for two years, and you're just now noticing the penguins?

Let me tell you this story.

A long time ago, when my son Anthony was seven,

...