Welcome back to Finn versus history.

Beside me is Horatio Gould.

Oh no!

Today we're talking about Australia.

Australia. Captain Cook, let him cook. Yes, let him cook please. Let's not be cooked.

We are in Australia the great social experiment. Too early to tell if it's worked. To me, in my mind, it is what happens if you send a thousand Irish rapists to the other end of the world? A thousand Conor McGregor's. Can they build a country? The jury's still out, as far as I'm concerned. A thousand Connagreggers, boarded as ships, 255 years ago, odd. Now, we're recording this the week that the ashes starts. Yeah. So I really want to... Prisoners versus the guards.

I really want to...

Ding ding ding.

I really wanted to get involved.

You know me.

There's nothing I like more than seeing a festering cultural wound and just going,

what's going on the edge, digging around in it.

And I can't think of a country lesser ease with its past than Australia. So them compared to Canada, it's similar sort of... Canada was very effective in just getting rid of absolutely everyone. Yeah. So there's not much backlash. There's not many reminders. No. There's just Justin Trudeau saying people kind. Yes. That's all you've got. And he's now dating Katie Perry.

So, I mean, who cares, really?

Who gives a fuck?

I'd say that. Yeah. To invite me and I have to date to Katie Perry. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I'd say a bunch of fucking nonsense about people kind. If it means I date Katie Perry, sure. Fine. Fuck it. Hand it in. Weather.

Yeah, I've been to Australia many times.

And as Aboriginal people,

as a constant reminder of...

And they're also, they're all,

they're basically all homeless and drunk and on the street, and it's so obviously a two-tier country that... And they really hate it. I mean, they also do this thing called a land recognition. Recognise. Not that. All right. Real, recognise real? Sort of. It's called a welcome to country. This is land acknowledgement, right? You're acknowledging. Kind of, yeah. But what's crazy is that it's now at every level of culture over there where I've been done the Melbourne Comedy Festival several times. You go out there and before you go on, you know, you play your pre-show music that you've designed to hype the audience up to your act. Yeah. They fade that out. Triumph of the will. They fade the round of the will. Dortmund Ubarallis. Everyone's really down. It's just going to live there. What's all this fucking bollets? And they fade it down. They fade the lights down. And then they go, by the way, remember when we killed everyone that used to live here. Is this a DJ with the mics?

Sort of. There's a genocide. We're really very sorry. You're all guilty. You're guilty by association. Anyway, now that's time for some comedy. And it's one of the most energy sapping things that you can do. I mean, it's like before you go on stage, go, statistically someone's probably getting raped in the world today. But it's like, anyway, Horatio Gould. Yeah. It's crazy. But it's something very Protestant about like you'll never, you're all sinners. You'll never overcome it. That's Catholic, isn't it? No, the Protestant thing is it's all predetermined, right? Well, Calvinist, right? That, you know,

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