Britain's Shiny New Pacific Toilet | Captain Cook & The First Fleet (Part 2)

Fin vs History

Fin Taylor & Horatio Gould

Comedy

4.7 • 995 Ratings

🗓️ 20 November 2025

⏱️ 59 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

As the American War of Independence kicks off, Britain needs to find a new sewer - and in Hawaii, Captain Cook finally gets Cooked. The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened. For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon ⁠patreon.com/fintaylor CHAPTERS: 00:00 He just loves maps 05:58 Himbo Island 10:54 Botany Bay Penal Colony 11:29 Banks and Prisons 18:47 Orgy on Arrival 25:04 Antarctic Exploration 31:23 Poisonous Pufferfish and Scurvy 36:01 One Last Job 42:09 Cook Gets Cooked 50:44 Leave It Alone Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey Harry.
0:00.7	Hello mate.
0:01.5	Got any tips for the football?
0:02.8	Your best bet is to head over to Bet Victor.
0:04.9	They're giving new customers a terrific welcome offer. If you bet a minimum of £10, they'll give you £30 in three bets. Oh, that's a steel of a deal. It's a good darn deal that'll make your squirrel for real. Neil? My name's not Neil. I know, bet it rhymes. Listen to Harry and make your best bet on the football at Betvictor.
0:23.4	18 plus opt in best bet on the football at BetVictor.
0:23.3	18 plus opt in and bet on any football marketing at odds of evens or greater no, cash out seven-day expiry terms and conditions apply at gamblerware.org.
0:31.6	T'was the holidays at Starbucks red aprons tied up.
0:35.6	Warm wishes and names written on festive red cups.
0:39.3	The chocolatey mousse latte is here to cozy things up, topped with mokker cream moose for a finishing touch.
0:46.3	Two lattes in hand, one for you and one for me, because together truly is the best place to be.
0:53.3	The holidays are served, now at Starbucks. Subject to available because together truly is the best place to be.
0:59.7	The holidays are served now at Starbucks, subject to availability while stocks lost. Welcome back to V Finn versus History.
1:14.8	I'm joined by Horatio Gould.
1:16.1	Oh, fuck.
1:17.9	Part two of Captain Cook and the First Fleet.
1:22.7	Yes.
1:23.0	The birth of white Australia.
1:24.9	Yes, birth of a nation.
1:26.2	Nauty Australia.
1:27.6	Aw, don't say that. Fuck. Oh, birth of a nation. Nauty Australia. Aw.
1:28.2	Don't say that.
	...

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