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I'm driving fast because I need to outrun my doubts.

Don't tell Alice, the woman on the phone had insisted,

and I had believed her because there was some intangible aspect that

made me trust her. She reminded me of Sylvia maybe, of someone working to make the world better.

And it didn't hurt Alice not to tell her. It only hurt me. It corroded my soul.

But I was wrong.

I'd been wrong to ever listen to nonsense like that.

Alice and I had long ago left behind secrets and betrayal.

We were on a different kind of journey now, one that we were making together, not merely side by side.

If you tell me something, assume Alice knows it too.

So I need to rectify. Alice knows it too.

So I need to rectify what I have done wrong.

Maybe Alice will be angry.

I hope she is forgiving.

Honestly, she better be.

I was pretty forgiving about all things considering her whole deal if i stop if i think about it if i remember the woman's ragged voice when she asked me begged me not to tell

alice i might feel doubt.

I might start to wonder if there is a good reason for the secrecy.

...