Welcome back to the Look and Sound of Leadership, an ongoing series of executive

coaching tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived.

I'm Tom Henschel, your executive coach, and today we're talking about don't take anything personally.

Karen used to run an entire only.

Karen used to run an entire department for a state university.

She managed hundreds of people at a six-figure budget.

Then, she transitioned into a senior role in the investment banking world.

She found herself working for a boss who wouldn't let her authorize any expenditure over $100.

Karen understood at first,

but by the time our coaching began, she'd been in her position three years

and her boss still held her to a $100 limit and she was steamed.

Wouldn't you think I'd have earned his trust by now? she asked.

I've given him every reason to trust me, but he obviously doesn't or he'd let me manage my own budget.

Oh I said in surprise you think this is about you? You bet she said if he thought I was trustworthy he'd let me out of this choke collar she

pulled at an imaginary restraint I asked do you imagine if someone else were in

your position he'd give that other person a different authority over expenditures?

Maybe, she said. Well, I don't know. But after three years, wouldn't you think I'd have earned his trust?"

I think you have earned his trust, Karen, I replied.

I think this is how he manages.

My guess is he does this to everyone.

Well, it sure feels like it's about me, she said.

And then Karen and I began a discussion about what it means to take things personally.

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