Don’t Punish the Vulnerability You’ve Been Begging For

Relationship Advice

Colter Bloxom

Relationships, Mental Health, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.4 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 20 April 2026

⏱️ 62 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This episode explores the common relationship dynamic where one partner struggles to share vulnerably, and when they finally do, they’re met with criticism, correction, or defensiveness. The hosts explain how these responses unintentionally “punish” vulnerability and reinforce shutdown patterns, even when connection is what both partners want. They emphasize playing the long game—creating safety through validation, patience, and restraint—so vulnerability can grow over time. Main Talking Points Pursuer vs withdrawer Punishing vulnerability Critiquing delivery Validation first Play long game Create safety Give Me Discounts! ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ - Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. Quince - Get Free Shipping and 365-day Returns using our link! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Up next, it's Red Flair and his new band.
0:03.2	Oh my God, I'm back again.
0:07.0	On bad back casino, everybody's been.
0:11.3	Gonna bring new games, gonna show you now.
0:15.0	New game party.
0:18.3	Dropping hits every week.
0:22.0	Find the new slots.
0:27.4	18 plus be gamble away.
0:29.5	That's right.
0:30.6	Hello friends.
0:32.6	Welcome to relationship advice.
0:38.8	This is a podcast all about helping you level up in your relationships, whether that's your relationship with your partner, with family, with friends, and most of all, the most important relationship,
0:45.7	which is your relationship with yourself. We think that is the key to having better relationships.
0:51.1	It starts with you, which is great because you have access to you all the time. You can't change other people, but you can change yourself. And the better you get to know
0:57.4	yourself and how you respond, the better you can show up in relationships. My name's Colter,
1:02.8	Bloxum, and I am joined with my best buddy today, Kayla Bozovich, and we are both licensed
1:08.9	professional counselors who are about all things, relationships.
1:21.6	And Kayla, there is this kind of strange phenomena that happens in relationships. You see, I think it's no secret that
1:30.3	there is usually one person in the relationship that has an easier time speaking their mind.
1:37.1	And then one person who it's a little bit more difficult to get them to say what's actually
1:42.6	on their mind, to get them to say what they're actually feeling. Just based on me saying that, do you know which person you might be? Oh my gosh. Of course I do. I work at a podcast where I love to share all about myself and my relationship and all the things that are hard.
2:02.5	So certainly I am more comfortable in that role.
	...

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