Don't Get Die Harded
Shutdown Fullcast
© Shutdown Fullcorp
4.8 • 3K Ratings
🗓️ 27 May 2026
⏱️ 101 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
- NBA playoffs recap, feat. The Washington Wizards
- Lane Kiffin Was Right (weird!)
- Kirby says the quiet part (whoops!)
- Ted Cruz egg discourse returns (sorry!)
- Georgia mercenary lore
- Dangerous toys of the twentieth century
- Bison breeding detour
- Jaxson Dart conspiracy theory debunked (by replacing it with another, better conspiracy theory) (that's not real either)
- We're all getting really into crying, join us
- The Shutdown Fullcast is on Patreon. This is how we pay our producers, and occasionally ourselves. If you'd like to help with that, give us $4 a month (or a larger, funnier number of your choosing) and we'll give you bonus episodes. As of this recording we have delivered 29 (twenty-nine!!) bonus episodes since launching in August. We think this is a pretty good deal (for you)
- Now through June 30, 100% of proceeds from PTKU merch sold through the Shutdown Fullstore will be donated to the Transgender Resource Center of New Mexico
- Shutdown Fullcast is produced by Michael Ray Surber
- Fullcast theme variant arranged and performed by Wes Hunt
- DID YOU KNOW: Spencer and Holly write Channel 6, a year-round newsletter that is mostly about football, until it’s not
- Before the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason’s critically praised novel and other work
- Travel in your mind palace to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Steven Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot exist
- Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Can I share with y'all a fun basketball fact that I stumbled across just before we started recording? |
| 0:05.1 | Would love it. |
| 0:05.8 | I'm just going to read you this headline from SB Nation website, Bullets Forever, a Washington Wizards community, |
| 0:13.5 | which famously, I know Spencer knows this, was supposed to be called Bullets Fever, |
| 0:19.2 | but Mike Prada, the founder of this site miss wrote it as |
| 0:24.7 | bullets forever and by the time it like made it in they were like nope this is the name that's the |
| 0:29.8 | name I forgot about that it's the noam alaska of websites yeah that's right that's right anyway |
| 0:35.7 | here is the headline. |
| 0:42.3 | As of May 25th, we're recording this on the 26th. So last night at 10.09 p.m. Central Time. |
| 0:47.6 | A former wizard will play in the NBA finals for an 18th straight year. |
| 0:53.6 | Yes. Yes, yes. |
| 0:56.0 | Stretching all the way back to 2009 with Tiran Lou as a player playing for the Orlando |
| 1:03.8 | Magic in that NBA Finals, which the Magic did not win, but that's not what the stat is about. |
| 1:10.0 | This is a remarkable run of years |
| 1:12.6 | where the finals have featured, not usually, like sometimes it is just one. There are a couple |
| 1:17.3 | years like 2010, Rashid Wallace. Yep. Okay. Played for the Celtics that year. Yeah. There are a lot |
| 1:23.5 | of years where like this year already with only one one team confirmed there are three |
| 1:30.0 | former wizards that are going to play for the next that's the Washington Wizards is where |
| 1:37.8 | legends are made where legends are made and where they quickly depart yeah I know what this is it's called the atlanta falcons start here go on do |
| 1:48.1 | something great elsewhere i'm just delighted that the nba's most bottom of the barrel said fucking |
| 1:55.6 | scrap heap of a franchise can have this continuous connection to the NBA finals. |
| 2:03.6 | This is akin to the Penn State graphic that said like, |
... |
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