Don't Burn Your Own House Down with Lindsey Maestas Ep. 711
Awesome Marriage Podcast
Dr. Kim Kimberling
4.9 • 813 Ratings
🗓️ 3 February 2026
⏱️ 68 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode, I'm joined by Lindsey to talk about her newest book, Don't Burn Your Own House Down—a powerful and practical guide for couples who want to stop self-sabotaging their marriage and learn how to protect what matters most. We unpack how unhealthy rhythms, unmet expectations, loneliness, and emotional struggles can quietly fuel disconnection, and why waiting for your spouse to "fix it" first often makes things worse. Whether your marriage is thriving or struggling, this conversation offers honest insight and hopeful tools to help you fireproof your relationship and pursue deeper connection in every season.
Episode Takeaways
Most marital damage is unintentional but preventable.
Self-sabotage shows up in everyday habits.
Waiting for your spouse to change first keeps couples stuck.
Behavior change alone isn't enough.
Healthy marriages are intentionally "fireproofed."
Quotes from this Episode:
Most couples don't fall apart because they stop caring. They fall apart because they stop considering each other in the little, everyday moments.
Playfulness isn't a luxury—it's an essential ingredient for a thriving, connected marriage.
Outdo each other in showing honor, and watch how your marriage flourishes.
Scorekeeping in marriage poisons connection.
If it needs to start with you, let it start with you. Your reward isn't just in the result—it's in the faithfulness and honor you show, even when it's hard.
In every word and action toward your spouse, you either speak life or spit poison.
When Jesus is at the center of your marriage, your own pride and hurts matter less—making way for unity, healing, and lasting love.
Take time to Reflect:
What little fire are you ignoring today?
Are you believing the lie that it's your spouse's job to take the first step?
What is one small change we could make this week to protect our connection?
Mentioned in this Episode:
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Don't Burn Your Own House Down by Lindsey Maestas
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Make sex better for BOTH of you — by romancing your spouse the way they actually desire. Check out this month's Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance
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Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about sex and intimacy? Check out Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 1
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If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
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Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
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Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | So often, I'm sure you see this a lot, Dr. Kim, but it's not even always these big extravagant |
| 0:05.4 | moments. It's not always a betrayal or leaving for another partner. It's those small little |
| 0:11.2 | flames. I refer to them as the small flames in the room that you're letting. And those are the |
| 0:16.9 | little issues, the frustrations, the bitterness, the lack of forgiveness, the lack of emotional |
| 0:23.1 | support, lack of consideration, the little things that eventually grow into a big flame. |
| 0:29.8 | And in the first chapter of my book, I ask the question, because I think it's very important |
| 0:34.2 | to truly sit and consider, if you had little flames in your real home that were burning, would you allow them to just sit? |
| 0:42.3 | Or would you do everything you could to get rid of them or to solve them or to find an understanding of where they're coming from? |
| 0:48.6 | Wouldn't you do everything in your power to save it? |
| 0:50.8 | Why not do the same for the most important relationship in your life? |
| 0:54.8 | You know better sex in your marriage without the awkward guessing or the world's ick? |
| 0:58.8 | The his and her sexy bundle shows you how to romance your spouse the way they actually feel |
| 1:03.8 | love. Five fun Christian safe tools to spark connection, deepen intimacy, and seriously |
| 1:09.3 | upgrade the bedroom, his way, and her way. |
| 1:12.5 | And right now, it's for a donation of any amount to lost of marriage. But hurry, this bundle won't |
| 1:17.6 | last forever. Grab the his and hers sexy bundle today. Well, welcome today's last |
| 1:22.7 | of marriage podcast. We are kicking off every with a great guest. Lindsay Masters is a writer, |
| 1:28.9 | a speaker, a podcast host, |
| 1:31.6 | and she's known for saying the hard things gently. |
| 1:33.6 | She's a trusted voice in relationships. |
| 1:36.4 | She reaches millions through her popular podcast, |
| 1:37.9 | being easy with Lindsay, |
... |
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