Does my child’s behavior problem mean I’m a bad mom?

Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Dr. Julie Hanks

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Education, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 734 Ratings

🗓️ 9 February 2021

⏱️ 16 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Cheryl Cardall, host of the Fight Like a Mother podcast, and addresses the question, “Does My Child’s Behavior Problem Mean I’m a Bad Mom?” It is common for parents to take responsibility for the behavior of their children, especially when the behavior is negative. During this episode, Dr. Hanks talks about how we invest so much time into our children that it can be hard to manage the feelings when things aren’t going well. The idea that “if I wer...

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Ask Dr. Julie Hanks, a safe place for healing conversations about self-development, family
0:14.4	relationships, and evolving faith. I'm your host, Dr. Julie Hanks, a psychotherapist offering
0:19.8	online courses and programs to help women all over the world heal themselves and their relationships.
0:25.5	Join me here every week as I coach a listener through a specific challenge and empower them with tools to find healing.
0:32.1	Together, we can prioritize your dreams, revolutionize your family, and personalize your faith. And with me today is
0:40.1	Cheryl Cardal, the host of Fight Like a Mother podcast. And this is particularly fun for me because I was
0:47.5	just on her podcast. So we are, we're trading podcasts. We're trading off. Yes, welcome. Welcome.
0:55.8	Thanks for coming on the show, Cheryl.
0:56.1	Sure.
0:57.0	I'm happy to be here.
0:59.5	So what is your question for today?
1:08.7	So I would like to chat about how we separate our being identified or our identities with our kids' behavior.
1:10.9	Okay. Because often with our kids' behavior, especially if it's negative behavior, it can
1:16.3	really do a number on us as moms to bring us down or cause depression even if we're not
1:25.2	really thrilled with the choices kids are making. So I would love to have some help on
1:29.3	that. Great. So is that something that you personally struggle with? It is. Okay. Tell me more about that.
1:35.6	Give me a situation where behavior felt really personal. Okay. I have a son who struggles in school
1:43.7	and behaviorally and grades. And I was getting calls almost daily about his behaviors and things like that. And it was really causing great anxiety with me and making me feel like, you know, because they'd say, what, what should we do here? And I thought, like, you know, because they'd say, what should we do here?
2:02.5	And I thought, like, you're the school.
2:06.2	I don't know.
2:07.3	You're the professional educators.
2:09.9	So that was really hard for me because I felt judgment in those phone calls and felt like it was partly my fault and things like that.
	...

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