Hi, this is Janet Landsbury and welcome to Unruffled.

Today I'm responding to an email from the dad of an almost three year old.

He's become confused lately about how to handle his son's emotions when he gets hurt.

He says that he's always tried to support his boy and he's tried to encourage him to

express himself, but lately his son has been rejecting this support and he's wondering

if there's a different way he might handle things.

Here's the email I received.

Hi Janet, I know that you probably get a million questions sent to you, but I am perplexed

about how to handle my almost three year old son's emotions when he gets hurt.

I've always tried to give him the space and the freedom to express his emotions.

For example, if he falls and scrapes his knee, instead of saying, you're okay, I would

try something like, I can see you scraped your knee that looks like it hurt.

Would you like me to hold you?

That is seem to work well, but lately he will start saying, no, no, no, no, as he cries,

and when I try to support him like previously, he starts crying more and says, no daddy,

I didn't fall in scrape my knee.

It seems like he's ashamed like he thinks he's failed or like his emotions aren't valid.

I'm just not sure how to handle it.

Should I just observe more?

Maybe I need to take more cues from him before I start talking?

I want him to know he can express his emotions in a safe way.

Thanks for any insight and I really enjoy your writings.

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