Does a Partner's Sadness Cast a Shadow on Your Joy Over Time?

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 19 December 2023

⏱️ 31 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What happens when an optimist and a pessimist are in a long-term relationship? According to new research from the article “Can an Unhappy Partner Erode Your Happiness Over Time?”https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/202312/can-an-unhappy-partner-erode-your-happiness-over-time (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/202312/can-an-unhappy-partner-erode-your-happiness-over-time) by Gwendolyn Seidman Ph.D. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/gwendolyn-seidman-phd)they eventually align somewhat in their outlooks, but does this lean toward optimism or pessimism? In this episode, Tony engages in a thorough discussion about emotional contagion in relationships, emphasizing how negative emotions tend to spread more rapidly than positive ones. He draws on various research studies to shed light on 'emotional vampires' - individuals who consistently dampen the mood and thus impact the overall happiness in relationships. Additionally, Tony shares a story from one of his clients, illustrating the significance of self-awareness in fostering a positive approach in relationships. Concluding the episode, he offers practical advice on being aware of your emotional impact and implementing changes for healthier and more positive interactions.00:00 Introduction and Personal Anecdote02:01 The Influence of Partners on Each Other's Happiness02:14 Welcome to the Virtual Couch Podcast02:36 The Concept of Influence in Relationships03:44 Upcoming Topics and Magnetic Marriage Course04:08 The Impact of an Unhappy Partner on Your Happiness07:06 The Power of Negative Emotions09:51 The Story of Emily: A Case Study14:44 The Influence of Happiness and Unhappiness in Relationships20:03 The Role of Emotional Contagion in Relationships26:40 Takeaways and Final ThoughtsFind all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch (https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch)Tony mentioned the Instagram account https://www.instagram.com/thesecurerelationship/Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App.

Transcript

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0:00.0	So this past weekend, I flew back east and I spoke at a funeral for an uncle of mine in Tennessee
0:05.3	and rest in peace, Uncle Donnie, because you will absolutely be missed. But it was also a wonderful
0:10.6	opportunity to reconnect with my Tennessee kinfolk. And even though I was only there for a couple of
0:15.2	days, I did start saying things like Fixin' Two and y'all. And I felt like I was able to channel
0:20.6	my old accent and refer to my
0:23.4	very own wife who wasn't there but was there through FaceTime as weandy. And I reckoned
0:29.5	things and stink bugs were cited and a stuffed possum was viewed. And when talking about my
0:34.9	waking up to narcissism, it was recommended that I used the phrase that the rooster thinks that the son comes up just to hear him crow, and I didn't
0:41.3	give that one enough justice. But on one simple exchange with my aunt Pam, whose husband, my uncle
0:45.9	Leon, my father's twin brother, who happened to be a professional storyteller, I might add,
0:50.3	was showing me a picture of her and my uncle Leon, and she said that she felt like over time
0:54.9	they pertinent, started to look like brother and sister, to which admittedly I tried to get
1:00.3	the eye of my almost 20-year-old son, Jake, so that I could have some validation that I was
1:04.0	going to pass on that wide-open shot, but only to say that you often hear that romantic partners
1:09.4	over time tend to become similar in several ways.
1:13.1	And according to an article from no more than a day or two ago called Can an Unhappy Partner
1:18.9	Erode Your Happiness Over Time with a subtitle of New Research Explores Well-Being Contagent
1:25.4	Between Partners by Dr. Gwendolyn Saitaman, romantic partners
1:29.5	tend to have similar attitudes, personality traits, and even similar levels of physical attractiveness.
1:36.1	Yes, that was a little bit of a stretch of an opening, but it's what came to mind.
1:39.4	But she also said that they were also similar in how happy they are.
1:45.1	Which brings up the question,
	...

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