I'm the cool dad. That's, that's my thing.

I know what I can offer you that no one else can. Complete and undependent.

I'm a man. I'm sensitive. I need to feel loved. I need to be desired.

Yelling is the only part of being a father that I enjoy.

Welcome to Dear Old Dance, the podcast that's not afraid to be afraid of being wrong.

I'm Tom Curry. I'm joined as always by Thomas Smith and Eli Bnick. Hello, gentlemen. Speak for yourself, Tom.

I'm never wrong. Especially not on this show. I am wrong with such alarming rapidity and frequency.

I'm wrong like sometimes before I said the thing that I'm going to say. Like I'll just,

I'll think it in my head and it'll be it'll be wrong before it even exits my mouth. I've definitely had a few of those. It's a product feature here at Darylton's. That's how we keep, you know, we consider our show like a skepticism test, right? It's like, oh, now do you actually research the thing we say? It's like a fun, I don't want to spoil it, but we will be releasing scores for who actually investigated our claims. Yeah, we've been tracking every single comment. I started this back on cog diss, uh, 2014. We should rename this show, you know, with a subheading, like, Dear Old Dads, do you believe this shit? Or is it? Maybe, do it, or is it? Can we do like a Simpsons tree house of horror thing where a fist bursts through the end of the podcast at the end? And people are like, huh. Mystery. Can I just say, in true dad fashion, I cranked my fucking neck and now my very existence is pain. Like the, like, I can't even. Oh, it sucks. There's no way you guys notice that I'm a little grouchy. I'm sure you would never. But that's because my entire being is all pain right now, 100%. It's amazing. The ability for the human body to go from like, yeah, no, I'm, well, okay, let's face it, I'm pretty much always in pain. But like, I'm okay. I'm fine to,

oh, I need the hospital just because of a muscle thing or something. It's ridiculous. You know, I'm going to do this and then I'm going to go check in to the ICU just for neck pain. Just scream for an hour. An hour of not screaming. No, put me in the ICU. You just need to ice it, man. I don't, do you have ice in the ICU? Do it there? Yeah, I once made the mistake at the age of over 40 of watching a movie with my right arm propped up above my head. Oh, terrible idea. Terrible. We need to issue content notes before stuff like that time. I didn't think much of it. I was just watching TV with my arm above my head.

And I moved my arm.

And I was like, God damn, my shoulder hurts. I ended up having to do six weeks of physical therapy and had two tears on my shoulder. Yep. Oh, my God. And I was like, what happened? I watched a TV show at the wrong angle. Are you fucking kidding me? Oh, I can't do stuff now. If I watch something, if I set up something,

and it's three degrees to the left or right, I'm like, I can't do it. I literally can't do it because within five minutes, my neck is ruined for a day. It's ridiculous. It's Netflix or

show. We were meant to get eaten by something by now. Why? Yes, absolutely. But your body is

breaking down so that a lion can catch and eat you. And nature is just like, gee, it's been like 30 more years than it's supposed to. I don't know. Make his thick stop working. Yeah, especially me. I've reproduced three times. Nature's like, dude, what are you still doing here? And they were, they desperately tried to stop you after the first one. They really did, but they could. I noticed there was a lion like stalking me the whole time like it follows. Just eat your sack. Or whatever. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. But you know the only thing worse than the inevitable breakdown and destruction of our bodies and physical health? That's right. The auto ads. Auto, because we don't get paid to tell you to fuck yourself every six minutes on this

podcast, but we can do the equivalent by playing whatever bizarre ads your iPhone

thinks are targeted at you at any given moment.

But you can prevent those auto ads.

Yes, you can have the vaccine for those auto ads, if you will.

The two ibuprofen and a hot pack of auto ads is signing up to be a patron over at

Patreon.com forward slash dear old dance.

Not only do you get an extended commercial-free version of every single episode, but you also

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