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Dear Old Dads

DOD156: Men Who Think They Could Run 5 Yards in an NFL Game

Dear Old Dads

Thomas Smith

Kids & Family, Society & Culture

4.8550 Ratings

🗓️ 20 September 2024

⏱️ 46 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Let's face it, men can be pretty delusional about their athletic and physical abilities. But surely, none of the men on THIS podcast, right? RIGHT???

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

I'm the cool dad. That's, that's my thing.

0:09.7

I know now what I can offer you that no one else can. Complete and undependent.

0:16.7

I'm a man. I'm sensitive. I need to feel loved. I need to be desired.

0:23.1

Yelling is the only part of being a father that I enjoy.

0:28.7

Welcome to Dear Old Dads, the podcast. It's pretty sure I could score at least a few points at Wimbledon.

0:35.0

I'm Tom Curry. I'm joined as always by Thomas Smith and Eli Bosnick. Hello, gentlemen. Well, maybe if I'm playing one of those kids that fetches the balls for them, maybe. No, they're probably still playing. I don't even think I would qualify for that. I'm pretty sure no. Maybe they'll hit me in the face with one and that handsome man will kiss me on my cheek.

0:55.1

Huh?

0:59.0

That clip, I don't know how, oh, have you not seen this?

1:45.0

It's, whenever you watch like a heartwarming sports montage, there's this tennis thing where he serves into a little girl's face, which can I say fucking rules because those things are so hard and so fast that everybody's like, oh, but she's fine. She's fine. And he comes over and he's like, hey, are you okay? But he's Italian? I don't know. He's one of the kissy races. So he like gives her a little. Ciccy races. Yeah. It's not a culture thing. It's if you take an Italian person, just their, um, fucking embryo and you take them to another country, there'll be kissy still. It's genetic. Yeah. You kiss Cecil something Italian, a present and watch that he doesn't involuntarily plan a smooch right across your brow. I've never seen Cecil. I've seen seen him do it 100 times. He kisses my wife on the mouth every time I see her. I just want to say that publicly on the air. And if anyone could tweet it and repeat it out loud as often as possible, I'd really appreciate it. No, but he gives her a little smooch. And it's funny because watching that now, here's a weird thing. and if it was a boy child, I'd be like, hey, cool, but it's not.

2:04.4

And so I'm like, ah, no smooching. He's not like big smooching, but no, m-mo, gestures near anyone's kid. Yeah, you have to make him, yeah, you guys, if a stranger, it's a little good, you got to make them, you got to make it clear. You need that child to scream at the top of their lungs. Give me a kiss.

2:19.5

It's what little good. You got to make them lie. You got to make it clear. You need that child to scream at the top of their lungs. Give me a kiss.

2:20.6

It's what I need.

2:28.6

You hit me with the ball. Give me a kiss. But yeah, in case you can't tell podcast, listener, it's time for a sports episode.

2:32.0

Three sports experts are going to ditch.

2:34.6

Rip into it.

2:36.3

I'm going to give you our sports tics.

2:40.7

Gentlemen, you know the only thing worse than my opinions on sports?

2:47.1

It's my opinion on the malfeasance leveled against Dave Grohl and monogamy in general.

2:48.7

But we're not doing that in this episode.

2:50.2

That's a future episode.

3:07.8

But no, the only thing worse than both of those things is the auto ads. Yes, those interruptions to your podcast experience, they can only be prevented by heading over to Patreon.com forward slash dear old dads. We'll get a commercial free version of every show. We got a bonus episode with Heathen, right? Because Tom didn't feel like showing up this month. You could check that out for as little as a dollar. Oh, I want to sell that slightly more.

3:11.7

That came about because I... Because Tom didn't do our job. I had to take a kid to an actual

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