I'm the cool dad. That's, that's my thing.

I know now what I can offer you that no one else can. Complete and undependent.

I'm a man. I'm sensitive. I need to feel loved. I need to be desired.

Yelling is the only part of being a father that I enjoy.

Welcome to Dear Old Dads, the podcast that's suspended from your feed. I'm Tom Curry. I'm joined as always by Thomas Smith and Eli Bosnick. Hello, gentlemen.

Hello. Now, is that a reference to what we're going to talk about or is it a reference to

the state of Eli's walls and answers, I got to share because we have to, that before this call,

Eli asked me for some home improvement advice, which I was happy to provide. And it's because his house was built at the turn of the

dawn of time. Sure was. It appears to be made entirely out of like haphazardly collected sticks.

Yeah. Balanced at a series of obtuse angles. Paper, resh. Seriously, this is like, if three little pigs would pass up this house, they'd be like, no, we're not even getting in this one. They'd be like, come on, let's go back to that straw place. We can gather it up and make the best of a bad situation. It's like when your friend sends you a picture and you're like, all right, it can't be that bad.

I'll have to actually see it because you're like, it must just be describing it wrong. And they send you a picture of whatever the issue is. You're like, oh, you just got to burn it down. The only solution is charred wreckage. That's it. That's the only possible. I feel like this happened before where Eli presents Tom and I with something separately.

Now, whoever it is has first gone through the process of, like let's say it's me, let's say it's Tom, either one of us. Well, that's insane. So there must be some other thing. Let me figure that out. Okay, is it this? Is it this? Is it this? Lo and behold, then the other one of us comes on. And then they have to go through the same process because there's no way. Like, I'm sorry, Tom. There's no, like things are weird enough with Eli that even though I trust you implicitly, I'm going to assume like, well, something must have been wrong in the transmission of facts or something because I go through the same process and it's like, no, that, okay. So that's what you've been here all along. Okay. Wow. Your walls are really at 75 degree angles. Okay. Yeah. Nothing to be done. And then the best part is like we describe what Eli is trying to accomplish is to secure a bookshelf to the wall. And like through the course of this, like Eli at one one point he was like, I'm just going to call a guy on Fiverr.

It's just, he's just giving up, like just completely giving up. I don't blame you though, Eli. Like I am at a place where even like simple home improvement products, I'm like, I don't want to do it. Well, it's not that I don't want to do it. Look, if this was me, like if this was I'm doing a thing for me, I'll fucking raw dog it all day every day.

Are you kidding?

I'm hanging a 10 pound weight above my head where I sleep.

I got it.

Duct tape and fucking moonshine.

I'm ready to fucking go, baby.

But this is in Max's room, which means it needs to be the safest best thing ever done.

Because the consequences of failure are the whole universe.

Right.

So that's the problem is I live.

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