Do you hate yourself? Healing from self-hatred

All In The Mind

ABC listen

Life Sciences, Health & Fitness, Science

4.4 • 785 Ratings

🗓️ 22 February 2025

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Join us for a live episode of All in the Mind at Podfest in Adelaide this March. You can enter to win tickets here.

Many of us have felt self loathing at some point in our lives — maybe when you've failed at an important task at work, or lost an important relationship.

But some people hate themselves all the time — their inner monologue is a constant drumbeat of self-criticism and self-loathing.

Where does this kind of all-encompassing self-hate come from? And is there a way to unlearn it?

We speak to psychiatrist Dr Blaise Aguirre, author of I Hate Myself: Overcome Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About You.

This episode discusses the topic of suicide - please take care while listening.

If you're looking for something to listen to next, check out our episode Can we trust our memories?

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Transcript

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0:00.0	ABC Listen, Podcasts, Radio, News, Music, and more.
0:07.3	I wanted to let you know that all in the mind is coming to Adelaide on Wednesday the 5th of
0:11.8	March for a live show at Podfest. The show is going to be called The Magic of Memory,
0:16.7	and it's all about what you can do to train your brain to remember better, recall faster, and even reshape your memories.
0:24.3	We've got an amazing lineup of guests for you, including a memory athlete.
0:28.3	Yes, that's a thing.
0:29.7	We've got a memory researcher and a clinical neuropsychologist.
0:33.9	We're going to be putting our own memories to the test and looking at the future of memory as well.
0:38.3	So I'll be at the Torrens Parade Ground in Adelaide at 6.15 p.m. on Wednesday the 5th of March, and I hope I see you there.
0:46.3	Okay, here is the scenario. You are at a dinner party.
0:50.3	You're having a good time, you're chatting to people, you're feeling chill, and then you drop
0:56.4	a glass of wine all over the cream-colored carpet. Oh no. And no, this isn't white or even rosé,
1:04.0	this is a full-bodied red. That's definitely going to stain. What goes through your mind in this
1:08.8	moment? If you're like me, you feel awful and embarrassed and you're apologizing profusely and promising
1:16.3	to never drink red wine again.
1:18.3	You say, look, I'll pay to get it cleaned up, I'm a klutz, and then generally it gets
1:23.7	taken care of and then the next day you're a different dinner party, you're spilling wine on somebody else's carpet, you know, or you decide you're not going to
1:30.4	go to dinner parties where carpets exist and you're going to only drink white wine or something.
1:36.4	You are human, and you made a mistake.
1:40.4	But then there are people who feel like the wine spilling makes them a bad person to the core, or proves they're a bad person to the core.
1:50.0	For the person with the core self-hatred, it is a manifestation of their badness. Of course this happened to me.
1:58.0	I not only deserve this to happen to me and pay the consequences, I deserve the shame and
	...

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