Do Better Kari!

The Commercial Break

Bryan Green

Comedy, Improv

4.5 • 758 Ratings

🗓️ 14 August 2025

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

TCB Merch on Sale Now Aug 8th - 22nd, 2025 :⁠⁠ www. shopTCBpocast.com⁠ EP812: Bryan and Krissy get back to reviewing NextDoor posts written by mostly insane people! But one post rings true. So, do better Kari! Plus, Bryan has thoughts on ChatTCB 5! TCBits: Payola Coin & NFT from Mayor Shlutz drops in Crabapple! Watch EP #812 on YouTube! Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Youtube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@tcbpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.tcbpodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CREDITS: Hosts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bryan Green⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ &⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Krissy Hoadley⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath TCBits & TCB Tunes: Written, Voiced and Produced by Bryan Green. Rights Reserved To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, Crab Applans, are you sick and tired of boring old paper money?
0:08.5	Is paying for your groceries with plastic becoming such a chore?
0:13.4	What about those lame investments that make steady returns year after year?
0:18.6	It's time you got involved in your favorite politician's legal defense fund.
0:23.9	So buckle up, baby, because Mayor Schlutz is proud.
0:27.3	No, legally obligated to introduce the Paola Coin.
0:31.8	Oh, yeah.
0:33.0	Buy Paola Coin today and get unlimited access to the mayor's office.
0:36.7	That's right, you can sit in the big chair, order interns around, and enjoy exclusive meet and greets with the mayor's daughter's sorority sisters. It's not creepy if it's a networking event. But wait, there's more. The Mayor Schlutz government is proud to announce the official Peola NFT.
0:55.0	This limited edition digital masterpiece features Mayor Schlutz himself, wrapped in the glorious
1:00.9	grab apple flag, charging into a burning orphanage, heroically rescuing babies while three
1:08.0	beautiful busty brunettes kneel in patriotic submission at his feet.
1:13.3	Classy? No. Collectible? You bet your sweet alt coin it is. All proceeds go directly toward
1:20.1	paying off the mayor's ever-growing sack of legal bills, funding his new high-rise luxury condo
1:24.2	project. And maybe, just maybe, buying back that gold-plated jacuzzi, he lost in a settlement. So don't wait, call now and we'll throw in one free bribe a crabapple bumper sticker. What just happened? Because in crabapple, it's all for sale. Payola coin is not a registered security. NFTs may or may not exist. The mayor's daughter sorority friends are subject to change without notice.
1:44.4	Side effects include indictment, subpoena, and possible relocation to federal housing.
1:47.9	Void war prohibited or where you have morals.
1:54.2	On this episode of the commercial break.
1:59.9	You are driving me crazy with your junk.
2:02.4	Please remove it.
2:03.8	Call Dale.
2:05.4	Call Dale.
	...

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