Three minutes after 12, it's time, says David and Antwerp, to ignore the world's villains for a moment and celebrate instead the joys of humanity with Mystery Hour on LBC with me.

And, of course, because we took that last conversation so close to the wire and left so many people hanging on, I've got a full switch, a clear switchboard now for your questions to come on, which very, very rarely happens on Mr. Out. Please pay attention briefly. Don't ask boring questions.

We'll answer anything at all, like seriously anything, but if it's really, really boring,

you probably won't get the chance to ask it. And the best test of how boring it may or may not

be is how many people are going to be interested in the answer?

Once you've asked the question, will everybody else go, wow, yeah, I'd love to know that, or will

they go, why did he ask that?

That's so dull.

Repetition's my responsibility, okay?

I'm supposed to be able to remember questions that we've dealt with in the past. And by far the longest serving member of the team now on Mystery Hour,

Jones the engineer has gone off to Pastures New.

He was the last sort of stopgap, the last stopgap, the last stopgap,

behind the batter in backstop in baseball.

But leave that with me.

All I ask of you is that you ring in with a good question. A who, or why, a what, a where, a when, a where, for, a whither.

Even the occasional whence.

Why do we do that, James? Where does that come from?

What's that about? Where? Woo, woo, woo.

And then someone else will ring in with the answer.

The number remains the same throughout. a phone line free, which is, I mean, pretty rare at the best of times on our program at the

moment. I'm sure the tide is due to go back out again sometime soon, but right now, crazy

times on the switchboard, but this hour, it's doubly true. It's even more true than the rest

...