Divorce Lawyer James Sexton: #1 Conversation Every Couple Should Have Before it’s Too Late (Use THIS 3-Step Script TODAY!)
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
iHeartPodcasts
4.8 • 28.5K Ratings
🗓️ 24 November 2025
⏱️ 149 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
What do you need from a partner that you haven’t been getting?
How can someone show up for you in a way that meets that need?
Today, Jay sits down with renowned divorce attorney and author James Sexton for a conversation that redefines what it means to love and be loved. With over twenty-five years spent guiding couples through heartbreak and separation, James has witnessed both the beauty and the brutality of human connection. Together, he and Jay explore the paradox of marriage: how something that begins with so much hope can unravel through silence, misunderstanding, and unmet needs. James shares that the greatest threat to relationships isn’t cheating or money, it’s disconnection: the slow fading of curiosity, gratitude, and presence that turns partners into strangers.
Jay and James invite listeners to look past the fairytale version of romance and into the real work of partnership. They talk about how we’re taught to plan weddings rather than marriages, and why the most meaningful moments come from small, steady acts of care, not grand romantic gestures. Whether it’s remembering to replace a partner’s favorite granola or reaching for their hand without being asked, James shows that a strong marriage isn’t about avoiding conflict, but about staying close even in the uncomfortable moments. He reminds us that love isn't for the faint of heart. It’s an act of courage, one that asks for honesty, vulnerability, and the discipline to keep showing up, especially when it’s hardest.
The conversation becomes less about divorce and more about what love is really made of. Jay and James uncover how relationships can serve as mirrors, revealing our insecurities, our longing to be seen, and our deepest fears of unworthiness. They remind us that to truly love another person, we must also learn to love ourselves, flaws, imperfections, and all.
In this interview, you'll learn:
How to Stay Connected in Love
How to Keep the Spark Alive in Marriage
How to Recognize When Disconnection Begins
How to Argue Without Breaking the Bond
How to Rebuild Trust After Betrayal
How to Talk About Difficult Topics with Compassion
How to Choose Courage Over Comfort in Relationships
Whether you’re married, single, healing, or starting over, this episode is a masterclass in emotional intelligence, offering timeless wisdom on how to nurture connection, protect what matters, and find courage in the vulnerability that love demands.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
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What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
00:29 The Real Reasons Marriages Fall Apart
02:39 Why Do We Still Get Married?
04:40 The Truth About the Wedding Industry
08:54 What Divorce Really Looks Like
13:16 The Hard Conversations Bring You Closer
15:44 What is the True Cause of Divorce?
22:48 The Power of Small Gestures in Love
28:52 Simple Ways to Appreciate Your Partner
32:09 How We Repeat Our Parents’ Patterns
38:41 Navigating Love After Having a Child
42:55 How to Reconnect with What Brought You Together
46:17 Why Does Asking For Love Feel Needy?
50:10 Designing the Ideal Contract for Modern Love
57:55 Understanding the Connection Between Desire and Disconnection
01:01:13 Commitment vs. Passion
01:07:07 How to Begin the Conversations You’ve Been Avoiding
01:11:47 The Lies We Tell Ourselves in Love
01:16:05 Should You Get a Prenup?
01:22:26 How to Bring Up The Prenup
01:29:45 Talk Through Your Anger, Don’t Act On It
01:31:18 Using Love As a Weapon
01:36:17 Should You Fight for It or Let Go?
01:42:59 How Parental Conflict Affects Children
01:48:59 Be the Calm Your Child Needs
01:59:09 The Real Problems Marriage Can’t Solve
02:02:52 Who Files For Divorce More: Men or Women?
02:07:46 How Divorce Impacts Men and Women Differently
02:13:39 James on Final Five
Episode Resources:
James Sexton | Website
James Sexton | Instagram
James Sexton | TikTok
James Sexton | LinkedIn
James Sexton | X
How to Stay in Love: A Divorce Lawyer's Guide to Staying Together
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is an I-Heart podcast. |
| 0:02.5 | Guaranteed Human. |
| 0:04.3 | Every marriage ends. |
| 0:05.7 | It ends in death or divorce, but it ends. |
| 0:07.6 | If something 50% or more of the time ends in pain and heartbreak, it's actually reckless |
| 0:14.4 | to do it. |
| 0:15.8 | Hey, everyone. |
| 0:16.5 | Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. |
| 0:19.9 | Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow. |
| 0:24.3 | Today's guest is someone that I've been dying to sit down with ever since I came across his work. |
| 0:29.1 | It is meaningful, it's powerful, and the best part about it is that it's direct and to the point. |
| 0:34.7 | Our next guest is the author of How to Stay in Love. Please welcome to On Purpose, |
| 0:41.0 | James Sexton. James, it is great to meet you. It is great to meet you. Love connecting with you |
| 0:45.8 | offline for a few moments just before we started. And I mean it, I've been watching your clips, |
| 0:51.3 | watching your interviews, thinking you have so much value to share with our audience. And I know this is your first time here, but I hope it's going to be the first of many. So thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. I have to say I'm a fan of the work, and I've always found your conversations to be something that actually moved me forward in my own thought process. So it's really, really lovely |
| 1:11.5 | to hear from your team and to come and sit down together. Yeah. Thank you for saying that. That means |
| 1:16.1 | the world. I want to dive straight in, James, because, you know, I think we all hear this statistic. |
| 1:23.5 | And I want to check even if it's true. Is it true that 50% of marriages end in divorce? |
| 1:28.4 | It's actually a little over 50%. |
| 1:29.9 | Yeah, it is a frightening statistic when you hear it, |
| 1:34.0 | because I've often said it, |
| 1:37.3 | it actually creates the legal supposition |
... |
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