Divorce Doesn't Ruin Kids, Conflict Does
After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings
Dear Media and Big Little Feelings
4.5 • 5.8K Ratings
🗓️ 11 February 2026
⏱️ 39 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Divorce is one of the most painful decisions a parent can make, and there's one thing that's always top of mind when facing a possible separation or divorce: will my kids be okay? Today's episode will give you a big, firm, YES. And shows you EXACTLY how to move through this difficult chapter to ensure the best outcomes for you, and your kids. Because the truth is, a healthier household is the BEST choice for your kid, and often, this means choosing the difficult path of divorce, not despite your kids, but FOR your kids.
In today's episode, Deena sits down with Gabriella Pomare, a family lawyer, co-parenting expert, and mom who has lived this reality herself. Together, they go far beyond surface-level advice and into the real work of co-parenting when emotions are raw, grief is heavy, and your kids still need you to lead.
This conversation tackles the questions parents are often too afraid to ask:
- How do you support your kids through separation while you’re still breaking inside?
- What actually harms kids after divorce, and what protects them long-term?
- How do you co-parent with someone who won’t cooperate?
- How do you set boundaries, reduce conflict, and stop kids from carrying adult pain?
- And how do you grieve the family you imagined… without letting that grief shape your child’s future?
Gabriella shares practical tools, hard-earned wisdom, and a powerful reframe: divorce doesn’t create broken families, unresolved conflict does. This episode is about emotional leadership, healing without involving your kids, and redefining what a healthy family can look like after everything changes.
If you’re considering separation, in the middle of it, co-parenting with a high-conflict ex, or supporting someone who is, you need this episode. You'll walk away with everything you need to have a healthy, happy family - even in this new, different looking stage of life.
This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The following podcast is a dear media production. |
| 0:05.3 | Welcome back to After Bedtime. |
| 0:07.6 | I am very excited for today's episode because it is really, really personal to me. |
| 0:13.1 | We are having a guest expert on who specializes in co-parenting after separation and |
| 0:19.1 | divorce, something that I was right on the verge of |
| 0:23.2 | and really found myself in the early stages of parenting, sitting with my husband and asking |
| 0:29.7 | ourselves, should we separate, is that best for our family, and contemplating all the change |
| 0:36.2 | that comes with it. So whether you are thinking about |
| 0:38.7 | separating, you are in the middle of it, or you know somebody going through it, this episode is going |
| 0:46.0 | to be incredibly helpful. We're going beyond just the high level of co-parenting. We are getting |
| 0:53.3 | into the weeds of what it really means when you're |
| 0:57.0 | holding it together for your kids. You're processing your own change as you try to help them through |
| 1:02.8 | the change. You're in a whole new world of logistics. When you're navigating this brand new |
| 1:08.7 | version of your family that you've never been through before. |
| 1:12.2 | Well, good news. Today we're joined by Gabriella Pomeray, a family lawyer and co-parenting expert who lives in this space, where law, emotion, and real life just collide together. |
| 1:24.0 | She's the founder of the collaborative co-parent and the author of the book, The Collaborative Co-Parent. |
| 1:29.2 | But what makes Gabriella special isn't just her legal expertise. |
| 1:34.6 | That helps a lot, but she understands that co-parenting isn't about winning. |
| 1:40.4 | It's not about being perfect or keeping it together at all costs. |
| 1:43.9 | It's about emotional leadership and or keeping it together at all costs. It's about emotional leadership |
| 1:45.7 | and communication when it's hard and protecting kids from adult conflict. Yes, even when you're |
| 1:52.5 | hurting. So Gabriela has a way of talking about separation that feels really honest and grounding and |
... |
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