meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Stiff Socks

Ding Dong Dick

Stiff Socks

Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein | Audioboom Studios

Stand-up, Comedy

4.97.5K Ratings

🗓️ 17 April 2023

⏱️ 11 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The boys riff on DIY colonoscopies, curing loneliness by banging your mattress, and unbox a thoughtful gift from Jack. They also give advice to a listener about giving a good birds and the bees talk and hear about how Trev for real bought a real book.

Hear the full episode, support the boys, and get instant access to 180+ bonus episodes for $5/month at https://www.patreon.com/stiffsockspod OR with Stiff Socks + on Apple Podcasts at https://www.apple.co/socks

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Sure would be cool if there was somebody heat next to me and I'm hugging a pillow two pillows

0:05.3

Call her Mary Jane spitting on a celi and assert a hundred percent you ever finger a purple mattress

0:13.8

Do you afford in high school?

0:15.8

Did ever fart in high school? Yeah, I just like that bitch. You go yeah, I feel like

0:20.4

But the hallways I'd let this should go the hallways be getting it. What is it about elevators makes you want to rip ass?

0:26.8

If I'm alone. Yeah, you got out of an Uber you're in the lobby and I farting

0:31.1

I think the only place that I don't feel free to just let it go is like a new girl's

0:36.4

Like oh, I can't apartment. I think that's your body's way that's your body's way of letting you know if she's the one or not

0:43.0

Cuz like I will feel like tense. I'll feel the the parts I got to let out and if she's around him

0:48.9

I can't but like there's something about it. We're like

0:52.2

That was for you hold up, but in a progressive way like

0:56.2

That's my body being comfortable around you. Right. You but you have to get to that place

1:00.3

You can't just be like date number two right

1:03.2

Given guard away right right slipping in loops. Yeah, dude. I had a comfortable girl. You you take a shit and use their tapestry as toilet paper

1:12.5

Her tapestry. Oh, that's where we're talking about. No, I have it

1:16.7

No, I have it. Are we doing this? Yeah, this is the man who won the March madness?

1:20.9

This is Garrett. He won the March madness. He wanted me to get the best bracket or he picked who's gonna win

1:25.5

I don't know how did that work? I think he picked who won wow hold on win Yukon. Yeah, Yukon huskies

1:33.5

Used to have one of those I gave that away and then you named it the same thing. Yeah, everything that dog is now

1:39.9

I'm back yard running somewhere freely. No, I think he's doing MMA in Vermont

1:45.4

That's crazy people live in Vermont. I'm like how do I get stronger?

1:48.9

They're just doing MMA in Vermont. Oh, yeah, do people live everywhere? That's it's insane

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein | Audioboom Studios, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein | Audioboom Studios and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.