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Flying Free

Different Ways Emotional Abusers Don't Take Responsibility for Their Behavior [169]

Flying Free

Natalie Hoffman

Emotional, Spiritual, Narcissism, Self-improvement, Marriage, Abuse, Religion & Spirituality, Christian, Divorce, Christianity, Education

5.01.1K Ratings

🗓️ 3 May 2022

⏱️ 32 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

"He wants to treat me better. He just doesn’t know how." "He says he’s sorry. He really hates how he acts." "He’s struggling. He can’t help it." Do you have these thoughts about your husband? Have these thoughts led to anything good? More peace? Change (on his part)? Hope that lasts? A better marriage? A never-ending bucket of fried chicken? Didn’t think so. I have some other thoughts to offer. You can take them or leave them. They might seem cynical and hopeless on the surface. But I believe they’re the means to all the things you’re hoping for…except one. This episode comes with not one but two guarantees: Adults have 100% control over their behavior. And you have a 0% chance of making someone grow or change when they don’t want to. The episode highlight reel: - Why acknowledging wrongdoing means nothing (if the wrongdoer is abusive) - Why his apologies mean squat (if the behavior continues) - Why WHAT he’s doing matters and WHY he’s doing it means next to nothing - Why saying he wants to grow means bupkes (if he doesn’t) - Why an abuser giving “God’s” advice has zero authority - Why your opinion on all of this matters and everybody’s else’s means zip Listen or download the transcript at flyingfreenow.com/169 FREE: I'll send you the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. Just hop on my mailing list at flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download. (I will NEVER spam you or sell your information.) Desperate for real help and safe people who understand what you're going through? Find out about my online education and support program for women of faith at joinflyingfree.com And, if you are an already divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, have amazing relationships, build a business or career, or even find a good man - check out joinflyinghigher.com

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of Flying Free Now, and you're listening to the Flying Free

0:10.2

podcast, a support resource for women of faith, looking for hope and healing from hidden

0:16.6

emotional and spiritual abuse.

0:21.6

Welcome to episode 169 of the Flying Free Podcast.

0:27.0

Today I'm going to be answering two really good listener questions and I am excited about this episode because I think it's

0:34.7

going to create some big shifts in your thinking. But before we get into our

0:39.0

content for today I want to thank those of you who have left ratings and reviews on Apple

0:44.5

podcasts. Reviews especially are amazing and they increase our exposure to

0:51.0

other Christian women who may need to hear about these things to give them hope

0:55.1

for their own lives. This is one way you can help spread the word and change the world

1:01.1

because when even just one woman's life changes,

1:06.0

the world changes.

1:07.2

I 100% believe that.

1:11.0

Okay, let's start with our first listener question.

1:15.0

I've just started listening and learning about what Flying Free is all about,

1:22.0

and I already feel so much less alone and almost

1:26.4

validated that I'm not crazy and I thank you so much for that already.

1:33.0

But my question is that a common theme that I keep seeing

1:38.0

and what I'm reading and listening to

1:40.0

is that the person never takes responsibility for their actions and never wants to grow.

1:52.4

And that's actually not my case.

1:54.0

My husband does accept responsibility for his actions a lot and he does appear to want to go

...

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