Did the Narcissist Ever Love Me? (Object Constancy Explained)
The Mental Healness Podcast
Lee Hammock
4.9 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 5 February 2026
⏱️ 16 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
"Was it all a lie? Did I ever actually matter?" In one of his most requested deep-dives, Lee Hammock answers the question that keeps every survivor awake at night. Discover the difference between being "loved" and being "useful," and learn how a narcissist’s lack of object constancy allows them to discard you without a second thought. This is the closure you’ve been looking for.
Key Topics:
Why you mattered as a "Tool," not a "Person"
The science of Object Constancy in Narcissism
Why they don’t mourn the relationship like you do
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Transcript
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| 1:01.1 | i see this question every single day lee was it all a lie that i ever truly matter to them or was i just a |
| 1:10.7 | placeholder was it all fate from just from the beginning? Was it all manipulation? As someone diagnosed with NPD, y'all, y'all. Y'all got to keep it hot and ready like a little season pizza with y'all, right? I'm going to give you the truth. I'm going to keep it real with you. Right? I'm going to keep it real with you. Let gonna tell you the truth, the truth that your narcissistic ex will never, ever admit to you, right? Because either they don't really know the answer, or they're using the lack of an answer, the lack of an answer to keep you hooked to them, right? The mystery keeps you hooked. Today, we're literally talking about narcissistic object constancy in reality |
| 1:46.7 | whether you matter to a person who might not even be able to see you as a true authentic human |
| 1:51.9 | being what's up folks if you knew here i'm lee hammock i'm a narc diagnose narcissist |
| 1:57.0 | i'm here to give you the inside look at the mind of a narcissist. |
| 2:10.3 | Let's get right into it. Did you matter? Yes. You didn't matter. You did matter. |
| 2:16.2 | To most of them. You did matter. Yay. End of the video. See y'all later. Make sure you like and subscribe. Peace. |
| 2:21.9 | No, but seriously, did you matter? |
| 2:26.5 | Yes, you absolutely did matter to this narcissistic person in some way, shape, or form. |
| 2:30.9 | Now, don't take me saying that as a reason for you to contact them. |
| 3:11.3 | Don't take me saying that as a reason for you to go back to them or break no contact or give them another chance, respond to their message. Don't you dare do that. Don't you dare do that. Don't you dare. I mean, I'm being real with you. I'll be angry as hell to y'all. I saw Lee's video and I clicked. I called no, you did not. Lees said it clearly in his video. don't reach out to them just because I said you matter because you got to get to the end of the video first right did you matter yes but you matter typically as a function not as a real person to this person right like to a narcissist most people I said most not all I don't speak in absolutes, most people serve as like a tool, like tools in a toolbox. |
| 3:22.3 | If I'm trying to build a house, i.e. my life image, my reputation, my career, whatever, the hammer is the most important thing in the toolbox. |
| 3:26.0 | The hammer is the most important thing in the world to me. So if I'm trying to build my love, my relationship, my authenticity, my reputation, |
... |
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