Okay, here goes. I think it's been a little while since I have recorded a podcast where I wasn't quite sure if this one would actually see the light of day and that is not trying to be very dramatic.

Although the story I'm going to tell is going to sound a little bit dramatic, but truly that's not my intention.

It was about two or three weeks ago, and I remember this very well.

It was a Wednesday evening. And on Wednesday evenings

now, I have a group call for my Pathback Recovery Group, the online pornography recovery support group

that is one of my favorite things of the week. And I have a lot of people that I'm looking at

on Zoom, some people with their cameras on, some people with their cameras off. And I don't remember the particular topic we were talking about, but it was, the conversation was going very well. And I was feeling very in the moment. And I remember all of a sudden, I really started to have chest pain. And that's one of my biggest fears. I'm not going to lie. I'm 51 and a half years old. I've been an avid ultra marathon runner. As long as I can remember, 20, 25 years.

And fitness has been one of my passions.

It's one of my core values.

But if, and I've heard other people have shared this experience as well.

But for those who really do, are almost consumed with fitness in this attempt to stay young forever, there's always that

fear. And I think it's because people will bring this up from time to time, but that you're

going to be that guy that is in good shape. And then you hear, you know, somebody says, oh,

my uncle had a heart attack running around the high school track. He was in great shape. And so you

do. You hear these stories often because I think that that's just the way that we work as human beings. We want to have some relatable story. And if someone isn't necessarily a runner, they will either talk about, oh, so-and-so is a runner, somebody ran a marathon, if you run the Boston Marathon, that sort of thing, or they'll tell you a story of someone they know that was a runner until

something tragic happened. So I've heard plenty of those stories throughout my life. So there is this

fear at times of, what if I become that guy? And I've even gone so far as to do a fair amount of

research on that guy and the person that does get the heart attack. And the data is pretty good.

It shows that that person most likely would have gotten a heart attack, whether they were mowing the lawn or whether they were running or whatever they were doing, maybe even if they were just getting up from the couch, because it's not necessarily about the running per se, but it's about the damage done to arteries. It could be something genetic. It could be something within their diet,

diet plus genetics, that sort of thing. So in one sense, I feel like, well, if that happens, it happens, but it's not going to stop me from doing things that I love like running. So back to the story. So it's a Wednesday. I'm about 10 to 15 minutes into this group call, and I really start to feel this just pain in my chest.

And I mean, I've had gas bubbles

or those sort of things before and and I've gone a little bit hypochondriac on those and thought

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