DHJ434: Curt’s Fleas

Dear Hank & John

Complexly

Vlogbrothers, People, Social Media, Soccer, Humor, Heartfelt, Youtube, Itunes:https://feeds.simplecast.com/9yni3wal, John Green, Comedy, Life, Green Brothers, Self-improvement, Advice, Dear Hank And John, Authors, Hank Green, Brothers, Society & Culture, Education, Relationships, Mars, 770430, Improv, Space, Pop Culture, Philosophy, Conversations

4.9 • 8K Ratings

🗓️ 3 December 2025

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Why don’t John and Hank live in the same state? Where does the chapstick go after I apply it? When my phone runs out of battery, why can't I plug it in and immediately use it? If aliens landed on Earth long after the sun has died, would there still be signs of former human life? …Hank and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected].

Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to a Complexly podcast.
0:09.3	Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John.
0:12.5	Lord, I prefer to think of it, Dear John and Hank.
0:14.8	It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you dubious advice and bringing
0:18.2	all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon.
0:20.9	John, do you know how an elf blows out a candle?
0:26.1	I don't.
0:26.9	Just going...
0:27.6	Why is that funny?
0:30.6	I didn't have a joke ready.
0:32.1	Oh, it was absurdist humor, like a Dadaist.
0:35.7	I don't know. I don't think it was...
0:37.3	Yeah. If anything, it was... Oh, Marcel Duchamp would have been doubled over with laughter. Well, yeah, I was inverting the frame of the joke by elves actually, of course, blowing out a candle and the only way that one could. Yes. This reminds me of my all-time favorite joke. It's a knock-knock joke. You start it.
0:55.7	It's so good, knock-knock.
0:56.8	Who's there? That's it. I put that joke in looking for Alaska. I always thought it was such a funny joke. And I first started in high school, and so I thought it would be appropriate for looking for Alaska. and I cannot tell you over the last 20 years how many emails I have received from people who are like,
1:12.1	I do not get the joke.
1:13.2	Please explain the joke to me. and I cannot tell you over the last 20 years how many emails I have received from people who
1:11.6	are like, I do not get the joke. Please explain the joke to me. And I'm like, well, I guess it
1:16.3	doesn't work that well over text. Maybe I should have considered that. There are a number of things
1:21.4	I regret about my previous novels, but that knockout joke is definitely on the list.
1:25.1	No one had had gotten in touch with me before publishing a book about how mad I'm going to be about certain parts of the book.
1:34.0	Yeah, yeah, yeah, that you're really going to want to take it back and you can't because it's out and lots of people have read it.
	...

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