This is Josh Korda of Darma Punk's New York.

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All of us have what we could refer to as core needs throughout life.

Core needs are emotional conditions that support our well-being, our

our autonomic nervous system, that regulate our emotions and that enhance the opportunities for us to grow and develop new tools and

connections. The earliest needs we have and they stay throughout as Bobby pointed out the great psychologist John

Boly pointed out throughout the entirety of our lives. The first core need is to be seen in the eyes of another to be monitored

for our safety and for our basic survival elements to be fulfilled such as food,

warmth, protection and so forth the earliest need

human beings have is

literally the sense of being

monitored or important in the mind of someone else.

And so one of the first attributes or skills that develop in a baby only weeks after birth is the ability to make eye contact, which of course, over the course of

evolution, eye contact activates oxytocin and is a bonding peptide and therefore the baby's ability to make eye contact enhanced survival.

And so it was one of the first attributes that developed.

Next needs are for empathetic understanding, someone to mirror our emotional states in a subtle way non-verbally

to indicate that they understand our internal experience. And this core event of emotional mirroring

has been shown to be vastly foundational

in the child's development of an ability to communicate, know the minds of others, know how to bond.

It's one of the skills that are developed when there's empathetic understanding between a child and an adult is the child learns what's called mentalization, which learns how to read or understand what's going on in the minds of others.

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