Thank you.

Thank you.

All right, all right, right.

Thank you.

All right.

And on your way out, don't forget to help yourself to the bucket of cradads.

Happy Wednesday, everyone.

So CNN's Caitlin Collins revealed staffers secretly dread traveling with

President Trump because he does not sleep. Conversely, Biden's staffers dreaded traveling with Joe

because he does not wipe. It's day eight of the government shutdown.

It's getting scary.

They're already considering getting a backup generator for Mitch McConnell.

They say the shutdown could cost the economy approximately $15 billion a week.

To put that in perspective, that's $15 billion more than Kill Mead's book sales.

Yeah.

After receiving criticism for height shaming, AOC now claims she actually loves short people. In fact, she's hiding

three of them in her ass. It's a compliment. KFC is once again offering its original

honey barbecue flavor. In a related story, guess who just bought four metric tons of napkins?

According to a new study, our brains only have the capacity to deal with 150 friends.

Well, you still have 149 to go, Jesse.

I counted his wife as a friend.

Not the kids, though, they hate him.

...