Here was some tips on what New York can offer as our city correspondent, Stefan.

New York's hottest holiday club is Bitson, and right now, they're having their 12 days of Christmas dance party.

Well, 12 days of Christmas. Now, see, that sounds nice.

It has everything. 12 Jackdale Binos, 11 little Richards, 10 piercered babies, 9 Asian balkies, 8 gayer ladders,

7 psychoswaring, 6 port of screechens, 5 homeless Elmo, 4 cooked up frogs, 3 french hens, Taylor Negron,

and a human parking cone.

The question was, what's a human parking cone?

Yes, it's that thing of when two Jack midges.

Hate themselves orange, and you have to parallel park between them.

T-B-T-L

If you think that's weird, you just wait for what is about to happen here on this Monday afternoon edition of T-B-T-L.

It's the show that's probably too beautiful to live.

They've turned the radio dial with a snarl, then one day they tell me they suddenly realized I was talking to them.

I'm talking to you right now. It's weird. It's like deja vu or something. Feels like I've done this before.

Maybe because it's episode 707 in a collector's series, I'm your host Luke Burbank, I'm weighing in at 187 pounds.

I made some poor decisions over the course of the weekend.

Chief among them, going for my third helping of brownies and ice cream last night.

That's all right, though. I'm going to be on the straightener of this entire week.

Starting with turning in an excellent imaginary radio program for you here on this Monday.

How do I know? Because I was the one who came up with the things we're going to talk about.

Hi, this is Luke's mom Susie coming tonight on T-B-T-L.

Well, sort of. Jen actually came up with a lot of them, too.

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