Welcome to Narcissist Apocalypse, everyone. I am Brandon Chadwick and today we will be doing a

debrief on Tommy's story. And for those of you who have not listened to Tommy's story yet,

I suggest you do, but for those who haven't, here is a short summary of Tommy's story.

Tommy grew up with a father who presented himself as the authority in their household. His mother was

loving, but she was also trapped inside the same system that Tommy was. She was criticized,

she was mocked, body shamed, and controlled.

And Tommy saw this happening. He felt sorry for her, but he also learned that nobody in the home

could really protect him from his dad. And as Tommy got older, his father's treatment of him

changed. When Tommy was no longer the cute little kid,

he became more of a target. His father criticized his body. He humiliated him in public. He mocked

his interest. He slapped him. He scared him in cars. He lurked and watched him. He used circular conversations that made

Tommy feel confused and trapped. And he changed the rules whenever it suited him. Tommy's dad was all

about power and control. It was about image. It was very gender norm rules that was going on in this family. And the expectations from the

dad were all about these roles. And they were impossible for Tommy to live up to. And over time,

Tommy learned to avoid the home, avoid attention. Later, substances became a big part of Tommy's life. It became a way for

Tommy to breathe, a way to cope with the fear that was going on, and just a way to get through

the day. And it grew out of a nervous system that had Tommy living in a survival mode for a very,

very long time. Ticks began to emerge along the way with anxiety,

and the substances like alcohol really helped with all of that. And eventually, Tommy did go

get help with the substances and he understood that there was more going on than just the addiction,

that there's a lot of stuff underneath

the addiction for him to understand the abuse that was going on.

...