Welcome to Narcissist Apocalypse, everyone.

I am Brandon Chadwick, and today we will be doing a debrief, a follow-up on the re-release of Hans's story.

And Hans's story started a long time before the marriage began.

He grew up moving from town to town, always being the new kid, always trying to catch up socially, never feeling settled.

His father was mostly absent even when he was physically around, and the little moments of connection that they did have

were tied to things like alcohol, performance, or brief flashes of attention.

And then his father left, and his father kept letting him down.

It became someone Hans kept chasing instead of someone that he could count on.

And he never doubted that his mom loved him,

but she was overwhelmed, emotionally shut down,

and not able to give him the kind of warmth and safety

that he needed to help him feel secure.

So Hans grew up very lonely and always was working for a connection in his life.

And when he met his future wife, what hit

him the most was that she really seemed to want him around. And she was a very social person,

a very magnetic person, and she kept on showing up for him. And for someone who really didn't matter

to the adults in his life and was looking for love.

For Hans here, he feels chosen.

And early on in this relationship, after he is chosen, there's closeness, then there's distance,

and sometimes there's intimacy, and then that completely gets disrupted.

So he's already now then that completely gets disrupted.

So he's already now early on in this relationship,

...