Today on the show, my dad doesn't want to work through his grief and it's

hurting our relationship. What should I do? Dear Life Kit. Dear Life Kit. Dear Life Kit.

Dear Life Kit. I have a question for you. This is Dear Life Kit from NPR. How can I become a better

caretaker? How do I deal with my parents' unrealistic expectations? And we're getting personal.

I'm catching feelings for someone, but they're married. I'm your host, Andy Tagle. Every

episode we answer one of your most pressing and intimate anonymous questions with expert advice.

Grease is not prescriptive, it's personal. That's today's expert, David DeFoe. David is a

licensed professional counselor and clinical director at Imara Counseling Services in Maryland.

He's also a certified grief recovery specialist, which is very tough and very important work

that will help us a lot with today's question about supporting a family member through loss.

Stay tuned. David, can grief work ever be joyful? Sure, of course. The human experience is full of joy.

Grief work involves the stories that people carry about their loved ones, the people that were

important to them. You learn so much through people discussing their pain. You know,

life's all about dichotomy. And so, you know, we have joy and we have sorrow. And they are oftentimes

companions with each other. And so, you know, we help people through the grieving process bring those

both in. We have to be cognizant that, you know, there's a duality of the life.

Hmm. They can exist together. David, I am so excited to talk to you. Thank you. Okay, let's jump in.

Dear life kid, years ago, my dad's wife got in an accident that left her paralyzed from the waist down.

It also led to her addiction to pain medication. Afterwards, their marriage started to get really rough.

My dad constantly complained that she bossed him around too much, that he couldn't ever leave her

side and that she didn't try to do anything for herself. Then, about a year ago, she died from an

accidental overdose. Since then, all he does is talk about how wonderful she was and how much

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