You're listening to Life Kit from NPR.

Hey there, neighbor. It's Mariel.

Today we're going to talk about the people next door and how to deal when things aren't all good in the neighborhood.

Because it's tricky, right? Our homes are sacred spaces, the place we go to

relax, recover, retreat from all the chaos of our lives and the world. So when you pull up to

that retreat and you find, say, the neighbor down the street has left Sparky's poop on your lawn

yet again, or that no matter how politely you ask, no matter

how many times you've got over it, that one guy just can't seem to stop blocking your driveway

and making you late, or when you have a big day at work in the morning and you're woken up by

the incessant thumping of a 3 a.m. Deep Trans DJ session, it can feel so personal, so uniquely

maddening. But most people don't intentionally inflict harm or pain or even annoyance on others,

including their neighbors. So most people are going to be willing to listen to, hey, I can hear this in my house.

Oh, I didn't realize that.

Or, well, what conversation can we have about this?

Most people are going to be willing to have the conversation.

Sasha Phillip is a professional mediator and an arbitrator, who formerly practiced civil litigation

for more than a decade.

So translation, she understands conflict.

And her number one guiding principle when it comes to dealing with neighborhood affairs is this.

Curiosity and then kindness and empathy.

Because you don't know where someone else is coming from.

That hostile neighbor, maybe their cat just died or their spouse just died or they've lived

...