This is Chris Taylor here with this week's sex chat quickie. This week's Quickey is about

dealing with non-sexual baggage that has an impact on your sex life. Most of us bring some

sort of baggage into the bedroom when we get married. Some of that baggage is sexual and comes from

what and how we learned about sex, from our sexual or sex-related experiences from before marriage,

and all sorts of things like that. But there's also a lot of non-sexual baggage that can take up

space in the middle of the marriage bed. How did adult men in our childhood treat

women? How did they talk about women? If these men conveyed a tone of entitlement or sexual

objectification, that's not something we just forget. Even if our minds don't remember the words,

being around those kinds of comments and attitudes shapes how we view

men and how we view relationships, all sorts of things. And what about body image? Did you hear

comments or see messages growing up that made you question your femininity or question your attractiveness?

Or did you grow up in a home where you couldn't trust other

people? All these things build into beliefs about our husbands, ourselves, and our relationships that

lead to fully loaded baggage that resides smack dab in the middle of the marriage bed, which means

that all that non-sexual baggage can still show up in our sex lives.

This non-sexual baggage can pop up during flirtation, foreplay, or actual sex.

And my quick tip today is something to help you squash that baggage before it becomes too much trouble.

I do have a caveat, of course.

This tip is something that is helpful only when you

have a genuinely good-willed husband. If you have a husband who is acting entitled or who is

sexually objectifying you, then this tip is not going to help you because that's not about your

baggage. That's about your present. But if you have a generally good husband, then here's

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