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This is episode 5 of Beyond Today's Special Series Deadliest Day, and I'm Claire Reed.

One morning in 2009, the guise of nine platoon C company two rifles lost five of their best mates and now ten years later two more of the platoon are dead.

Kevin Holt is one of them.

He died last year.

But the first in 2011 was Alan Arnold. It was a year and a half after the platoon got back from Afghanistan and Alan was 20 years old. He was one of the youngest of the riflemen.

It's difficult to imagine how you would cope with the amount of trauma these guys went through,

but to deal with it at an age when you're still learning how to reason, how to process,

who you are, how you fit in, how to forgive yourself, that is another thing entirely.

Mickey Smith is Alan Arnold's mum and she's showing Heidi and me around her house. This one is Bambi.

Mickey's got two. Heidi and me around her house. This one is Bambi.

Mickey's got two cats, four dogs, seven rabbits and two birds.

Every time I start to feel a little bit low, I get an animal.

Usually sort of around anniversary times, birthday times, I get an animal. I have done in the past. Trying to stop it now though.

We're standing in the kitchen, surrounded by all four dogs leaping and snuffling and waggling their whole bodies with excitement

that Nicki is back from her night shift.

Turdi is what I call my therapy dog.

She's the one I went out and got not long after we lost Alan. So she was the first one I got and then you've got

Is Eva is the next one.

Ziva is mum's shadow.

And this is her eldest daughter, Abby.

Wherever mom goes, Ziva goes.

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