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Friday Night Comedy from BBC Radio 4

Dead Ringers - Christmas Day Special 2020

Friday Night Comedy from BBC Radio 4

BBC

Comedy

4.213.3K Ratings

🗓️ 25 December 2020

⏱️ 28 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This special was recorded on Sunday 20th December. In a change to the usual format, the show listens-in to how the great and good are spending Christmas. Much like everyone else? Maybe not… Mark Drakeford finds a new way of addressing the people of Wales, while Nigel Farage thinks now’s the right time for a pub crawl. Topical satire from Jon Culshaw, Jan Ravens, Lewis McLeod, Debra Stephenson and Duncan Wisbey. The writing squad for the series: Nev Fountain & Tom Jamieson, Laurence Howarth, Ed Amsden & Tom Coles, Sarah Campbell, James Bugg, Jeffrey Aidoo, Alex Hardy, and Lewis Cook. Producer: Bill Dare. A BBC Studios Production

Transcript

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0:00.0

BBC Sounds Music Radio Podcasts

0:30.0

Music Radio Podcasts

0:46.2

Dear Dringers, Christmas Special and to guide you through I shall regenerate

0:53.0

into Craig Cash. Yeah. It's Christmas Eve in the Downing Street,

1:01.1

Flat. How did you do that? Boris? Where do you woe woe woe? Boris?

1:08.4

You hit Boris. Hey you f- Oh God, oh no! I should have known in this not at all festive season

1:14.6

that I would be visited by a horrific ghostly apparition. Well for goodness sake Boris,

1:18.4

I'm not a ghost, it's me Theresa. Are you sure you're not a ghost?

1:21.6

Just a woman with a vitamin D deficiency. Poor, cryp's understood.

1:25.6

But we are here to get you to change your ways. We? Who's we?

1:29.8

Hello Boris. Cameron. Enjoying the job. I thought you'd bought a caravan and become a hippie.

1:35.5

That was the plan but they told me they're into acceptance, free love and togetherness,

1:39.4

but they drew the line at me. We are the failed conservative prime ministers of Christmas past.

1:44.8

We're here to save the immortal soul of the conservative body and get you to do the honourable thing.

1:50.6

I-I-I-I-I-I-I don't quite follow. Come on Boris. I completely screwed up by losing the EU referendum,

1:58.0

so I resigned. And I completely screwed up everything else by messing up a general election

2:03.1

and failing to get my Brexit deal through Parliament, so I resigned.

2:06.8

I don't see how that connects to me though, for- Yeah, God's Boris, come on man!

2:11.2

You failed to negotiate the Brexit deal you promised was oven ready.

2:15.7

There are lorries queuing up from Dover to Tundbridge Wells. UNICEF is parachuting in food to feed Birmingham.

2:22.4

And with Covid you've left every tough decision until it's too late.

2:27.1

You told the scientists you weren't canceling Christmas. Oh no way, I love Crimbo.

...

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