This is Bonnie Burns with today's sex chat quickie. Welcome to that time of year. It seems to sneak up on even the calmest of nervous systems. It's the holidays. Yes, that magical time of year when family expectations, travel, casseroles, and emotional

landmines all gather together like they're auditioning for a reality show.

If just hearing the word holidays made your shoulders tighten up, take a breath, you are in

good company.

No, the holidays are not automatically a hallmark movie.

They can feel more like a sensory

overload parade with the side of performance pressure. Your brain is already doing extra work,

making lists, trying to regulate your overwhelm, monitoring for relational safety, and trying not

the bolt when Uncle Frank starts giving unsolicited awful marriage advice.

So let's shift the script. Instead of powering through this season, let's practice something

radical. Gentleness. Start by checking in with your body. Ask, what do I need in order to walk

through these next few weeks without abandoning myself. Maybe it's shorter family visits.

Maybe it's opting out of traditions that drain you. Maybe it's choosing one person, just one,

and hopefully it's your husband, who can be your anchor if the room gets too loud or the

conversations too insensitive. And next, give your brain some structure. Set expectations

ahead of time with your partner, your family, and even yourself. You're not responsible for

managing everyone's emotions. You're responsible for stewarding your own, and that's more than enough.

And finally, sprinkle in small pockets of joy on purpose, a morning walk,

a favorite candle, a moment of solitude, or a time of meditation and prayer. Or invite your husband to

a long, comforting hug in front of the Christmas tree, or have morning coffee or tea with him

in front of the tree with only the lights on.

Tiny rituals that remind your nervous system, I am safe.

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