Cash Mattel, please stay off of my timeline.

Like I am begging you.

Please stay out of the news unless you are making arrests.

And I say that with love.

I say that with love because I want this administration to succeed.

And your PR, your image is directly connected with that success, in my opinion.

Like I'm honestly starting to miss the good old days when we didn't know what shoes the FBI director was wearing to a UFC fight, when we didn't know who he was dating when they weren't doing podcasts together, when we didn't know the ins and outs of his personal life when he was off the clock. And I'm saying all of this, because in case you missed it, a scathing expose came out about Cash Patel and it does not look good.

So this is from the Atlantic.

The headline reads, the FBI director is MIA.

Apparently he's not MIA for my timeline, but maybe he is from his job.

Anyway, they go on and the subtitle reads,

Cash Patel has alarmed colleagues with episodes of excessive drinking and unexplained

absences. Now, this headline, like I said, is obviously incredibly ironic considering he is all over

my ex-feed all the freaking time, but it is usually not for a good reason. Now, these accusations

of drunken, MIA behavior, blowing up at staffers, not being able to be reached for meetings, not being

able to use his own computer. All of this comes on the heels of his viral Olympics video with

the men's hockey team, and so obviously that is not helping either. But guys, contrary to my

previous episodes where I have gleefully spent time ripping into this man, this story, this

episode, it is not even about

Cash Patel, his love of beer with the men's hockey team, or even his country music sensation

girlfriend. It is about how both the left and the right clutch their pearls over the very things

that they defend happening in their own party. It is all a big game of division that we are not part of.

...