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Judge John Hodgman

Dance Like No One is Showering

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

Judge, Information, Show, Comedy, Justice, Kids & Family, Society & Culture, John Hodgman, Pc, Relationships, Jesse Thorn, John Hodgeman, More, Knowledge, Mac, World

4.87.9K Ratings

🗓️ 30 May 2018

⏱️ 44 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week, clearing that docket! They talk about disputes having to do with speakerphone, water conservation, soda fountains, Leap Day birthdays, mud rooms and hosting out of town guests.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Baylor of Jesse Thorn. We're in chambers

0:06.2

this week clearing the docket and with me as always is the all-singunist, all-danceannist,

0:13.9

judge in all of Justice Land, Judge John Hodgman.

0:18.0

You know what? I have a pretty good singing voice. I'm not a great dancer, but I do give

0:21.9

it a try. I will say that. I'm not all-dancingist. I'm some dancingist. But you gotta be

0:28.7

something. Listen, everyone out there who says I don't dance. I used to be that way. You

0:33.9

gotta dance sometimes, right, Jesse Thorn? Yeah, like the dancing e-dos from the Jay Leno

0:39.3

show. Probably the real dancingist judges in all of Justice Land.

0:43.4

When you go to a wedding, do you dance, do you dance when the DJ starts or not?

0:48.4

I dance a little bit. My wife isn't a like super dancer. It's not her main thing. And

0:57.9

I don't drink. And so, you know, I will dance a few songs. Mostly at weddings, you just

1:06.6

do sudoku then. Yeah, exactly. Well, it really is true that when you go to weddings and you

1:14.2

are an adult and you don't drink, it does get real boring real fast. Like the ceremony,

1:21.1

the wedding is beautiful and you eat and that's great. And the rest of it is just yelling

1:26.9

in a tent. Yes, I completely understand. I guess I'll amend my ruling to be this. If the

1:33.3

thought of dancing crosses your mind, don't put it out of your mind. Don't talk yourself

1:38.1

out of it. Do it. If it doesn't cross your mind, fine. Same deal with the shower. If you're

1:43.8

thinking about taking a shower, you probably should take a shower. You'll feel better if

1:47.8

you do. You'll always feel better if you dance and shower in life. There we go. That's

1:53.2

a t-shirt. You know what I always say? Dance like nobody's showering. Here's something

2:00.4

from Rachel. My boyfriend sometimes takes phone calls on speakerphone while we're driving

2:04.9

together in his car. I don't like him to disclose my presence because it makes me feel weird.

...

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